0139 Female Led Relationships: Parenting While Kinky: Honest Conversations with Teenagers

Okay—this is the one I knew I’d eventually record. Today I’m talking about how I talk to my kids about my lifestyle: about FLR, submission, my work, nudity, consent, and body positivity. This is not a guidebook. It’s a real, messy, and honest look at what it’s like raising a teenager who knows her mom is a dominant woman living a lifestyle that doesn’t fit the norm.

I talk about shame, trust, communication, and how I choose what to say (and what to leave out). I also talk about what I never had growing up—and why I’ve made it my mission to raise kids who feel safe asking hard questions and loving their bodies without guilt.

It’s vulnerable. It’s a little wild. It’s honest as hell. And if you’re living a dynamic like this while raising kids—you’re not alone.

What You'll Walk Away With:

• How to talk to older kids about relationship dynamics (without oversharing)
• Why curiosity ≠ permission—and how to hold boundaries while staying honest
• How shame and silence hurt more than the truth
• The impact of modeling confidence, respect, and body positivity
• Why “know your kid” is the only real parenting rule in this space

Google-Friendly Questions This Episode Helps Answer:

• Should I tell my kids about my FLR or kink lifestyle?
• How do I explain submission and dominance to a teenager?
• What are healthy boundaries for parenting while practicing kink?
• How can I teach my daughter body positivity and confidence?
• What’s the right way to answer hard questions about sex and relationships?
• How can I be honest with my kids without giving too much detai

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Transcript

0:50

If she has questions about sex, I don't fucking want her asking her friends. What the fuck do they know? This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. If you're not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers, or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.♪♪Welcome back. Episode 39. Holy fuck. I don't even know if I remember how to record a podcast. Let's give it a try. This week, we are going to talk about talking to your children about your lifestyle choices, if you so choose. Probably gonna get some hate for this one, but I don't give a fuck. So let's dive in. But first, housekeeping. Oh my gosh, I cannot even say how exhausted I am in a good way. My social media is once again stagnant. I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I'm just so fucking focused on my life right now and kids are finishing up school. Now, regaining my sanity. Slightly. And we are also currently just over, like a month over, being one year from our full-time launch date. I don't know why this is so overwhelming for me all of a sudden. One year and it seems like we have so much to do. It's been go, go, go, every day, sun up to sun down, not to mention my subbie is working his full-time job. And if you can't tell from my voice, I've picked up smoking on the weekends occasionally. Probably not my best choice. Probably gonna cut that shit out real fast. Maybe. Speaking of smoking in camp, I've also picked up earning some extra money doing massage at camp. I forget how mentally and physically draining that can be sometimes, but it is a fantastic opportunity for me to talk to people, get to know people, get outside my bubble, find out what makes them tick. And there are, like I've said, a few that I would really like to have on the podcast. And I keep saying this as well when things settle down. I'm beginning to think that my life doesn't settle down. I'm just going to have to figure it out. But interesting dynamics that I would like to talk about on here that I think some people may find helpful. I think that wraps up housekeeping. So this week we are talking about, and the reason we are talking about sharing this information with your kids is because my 17-year-old daughter happened to hear the beginning of one of my TikToks and asked what a subbie was. Well, what am I supposed to say? I will tell you when I was young, being lied to was the one thing that I hated the most. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand the necessity for not always telling your children the truth. My daughter is 17. She will be 18 next month. We have always, always, always been honest or talked openly about our bodies, sex, things like that. I did not have that growing up. And the first time I got my period, I had no idea what the fuck was going on. I was scared to death. I was also 10. But ever since I had my daughter, it has been a mission of mine to be very open with her. If she has questions about sex, I don't fucking want her asking her friends. What the fuck do they know? I didn't know. I mean, I might have when I was her age, but I want her to be able to come to me. I want to give her educated answers or give her resources where she can find the answers to her questions. I may get some hate for this, and she's too young for that, and she's not mentally ready. Listen, I'm not telling her to get into a dumb subrelationship or a female-led relationship. I'm answering her questions honestly. I'm not advising her what to do with her life. If she has fucking questions about mine, I will answer what I feel she's ready to know. I think that she will appreciate me for that someday. And we've had many discussions. For example, we had a discussion about orgasming. Let's go back however many years. For me, I'm not going to disclose. Everybody knows how old I am. So many years ago, I didn't know what an orgasm was, and I sure as hell didn't know how to figure that out. Anyway, she was having a discussion with me about how she's never finished while doing something with a boy, which she's not doing sex anyway. They're just kind of doing foreplay from my understanding. However, she asked me a question about finishing. Here's my advice. I wish somebody would have told me this when I was younger. My advice would be, get comfortable with your body. And you know what? This advice could go for women, too. Because listen, I haven't really been comfortable with my body until recently. Explore your body. Find out what you like, what you don't like, and figure out what gets you off. Don't be ashamed of what gets you off. Listen, you are unique. You are amazing. And whatever gets you off is OK. But figure it out. And then when you are playing with somebody else, don't be ashamed to assert yourself to do what you want to get yourself off. That could be my dumb opinion. But I've spent many fucking years with men who didn't give a shit if I finished or not. It was a wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, and we're done. So back to my advice. Explore your body. Get familiar with your body. Figure out what you like, what you don't like. That's the best way to know how to get off and how to get off during sex with someone else or play with someone else for that matter. And who doesn't want to get off? Orgasms are amazing. I maybe did not voice that to her in exactly those terms. I did tell her that she's not going to like my answer because this is my child that was actually coming out of her shell pretty significantly this summer already. But she doesn't even get dressed like in her bedroom with her door closed. She hides in her closet. I appreciate wanting privacy or not being comfortable with exposing yourself. But I hope that isn't because of an insecurity because of her body. Body positivity is very important to me. And if there's one thing I teach her in life, it will be love yourself. You are beautiful and amazing just the way you are. You also get one body. So take care of it. If you feel like shit, figure out why you feel like shit and then change something to make it better. Easier said than done. I am fully aware. So we have talked about that. What else have we talked about? Well, OK, so the TikTok that she happened. I don't know if I was reading a comment. We were in the bank drive-thru or something. And my volume was up. And usually before I start a TikTok, I always make sure it's down because my daughter is aware of what I do. She knows about my podcast. She knows the type of voiceover work that I do. She's also aware that I have an OnlyFans, which is also super stagnant. I'm working on photos for that and things for that. If you've messaged me on OnlyFans, fucking hell, I'm sorry. It's my goal. Monday morning tomorrow, I'm done reading all of my books. We're in the editing phase. OnlyFans is my place to go tomorrow morning. And then it's my email or vice versa, however it goes. Holy fuck, I'm real sorry if you've communicated and haven't got anything back. Anyway, she's aware of that, as are most of my friends and most of my family. And here's the conclusion that I've come to. And I've told her this before, too. I'm not ashamed of what I do for a living at all. I enjoy what I do. If I was ashamed of what I did, I wouldn't do it. I make people happy. I don't understand how that's a bad thing. Of course, the programming in some people's brains just doesn't quite let that slide through. That's a topic for a whole nother episode. So she's aware of what I do. I was checking a TikTok and something... It was the beginning. I don't know if it was... There was a couple weekends ago, I went to camp by myself. And my subbie went up to camp, which is about an hour and a half from our house. Went up there earlier in the day before going to work a full day. And he turned the heat on for me and set up the area where I do massage for me. Got my table all out and ready for me. So that when I got there, because it was the 90 degree... It was like 90 to 100 degrees. I got there and the camper was nice and cool. He was a good boy. And it's things like that that he does for me that just blow my mind. I appreciate him so much. But back to the topic at hand yet again. She heard me say something about my subbie on my TikTok. And she asked me what a subbie was. And I said, it's a submissive. And she's like, what does that mean? Well, like there's a submissive and a dominant. I would be dominant, Brian is submissive. Oh, okay. You know, she was asking her questions and things like that. Now, I have not obviously said anything about practicing chastity. Because one, I'm quite sure she has no desire to know that. If she ever had questions about chastity or what it's like to practice chastity in a relationship, things like that. I would answer those questions. But the chastity portion of our relationship, I don't feel like is something she needs nor wants to know about. So it's not anything we'll talk about. However, the female-led relationship part is actually quite important for her to understand, I feel like. Because much like her mom, she has made a couple poor choices in who she lets in her life. And I feel like it's partially my fault, her past relationships that she's seen me in. But it's quite interesting to see the change in her since we have lived, or since I have been with my subbie. She notices how well he treats me, how well we interact with each other. The things he does for me just to make my life easier, just in general. But there's also, you know, sometimes he'll say yes, miss, when I tell him to do something and the kids are around. So we kind of discussed what a submissive and a dominant is. And she had heard of girls calling their boyfriends daddy and things like that, and asked if it was similar to that. And like I say in here all the time, every dynamic is different. It could be similar. I said people choose to live their life in multiple different ways. It could be similar to how Brian and I live. It could be similar to a... Oh, Brian, take that out. Do we know your name? It could be a whole different dynamic. And that is kind of what we discussed. You know, kind of the terminology of what a submissive and a dominant is and just how it works in our relationship, how it can work in other people's relationships. I also told her that if she Googles it, she may find things that make her cringe. Just because depending on which website she goes to or whatever the case may be, she may see things that, like the whips and the chains and things like that that sometimes are associated with a dominant or a dominant-submissive relationship or a slave-owner relationship, any of that stuff. I have always told her to come to me. I will always be honest with her. And in return, I expect honesty from her. I know that maybe that isn't what parenting books will say or whatever the case may be, but I'm not, and I fucking hate labels, but I would rather have my kids come to me with questions and feel comfortable talking to me about that because I think it could prevent so many bad things from happening if they would just talk to me instead of lying to them and telling them something doesn't exist or, oh, you're too young for that. Now, again, obviously there are things that she is too young for and I'm not promoting her to be in a female-led relationship or practice chastity or be a swinger or anything. She knows about the campground. She asked me if we were swingers. I said, I don't really like labels. I don't know if I would classify us as swingers, maybe, but I'm not going to explain the dynamic. When she first found out that it was a clothing-optional campground, she said, well, do you get naked? Sometimes I get topless. I shower outside naked. I don't want her, I mean, being naked isn't a bad thing. There's a right time and a right place for it. Don't go to your local park naked, but listen, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You are a beautiful human being. Human body is beautiful. If you're at a clothing-optional campground, why not get naked? It's very freeing and very grounding, and it took me a long time to get there, so don't let me fool you with my, oh, it's so freeing to be naked because I still don't usually get fully naked because I still have that stupid insecurity in me, but I've come a long way in the two years that we've been there and the people are very nice, very accepting. And I've also told my daughter that she needs to surround herself with people like that. You need to be around people that are going to be supportive and make you feel good about yourself. Don't be around people that make fun of you for something or knock you down because of something in your physical appearance or you should always surround yourself with people who genuinely have your best interest at heart and want to build you up instead of knock you down, but that's real hard to comprehend when you're 17. I remember those days. Teenagers can be mean and now you have social media, which is real hard for teenagers. I think overall, to kind of sum up this episode, I feel personally that being honest with your kids about things and nobody knows your kids better than you do. So you do what you're comfortable with. I know my kids. I know what I can tell what kid. I know what they're comfortable with. And my oldest will tell me, I don't care if you're at a clothing optional campground. I just don't want to know what you're doing. And that's fine. He still loves me as his mom and he still respects me, which was my biggest fear. I was worried that a small town would make him look at me differently, but it doesn't appear to. And it's quite freeing for me to be able to be honest. And I know that's not an option for everybody. You have to do what's best for your relationship. But I think eventually everybody kind of gets to a point where you're just like, this is how I live my life. I need to be free. It's real hard to be open and honest about this lifestyle in general because of how people view it, which is really fucking shitty. When sharing your lifestyle choices, your choices of relationship styles, whatever the case may be. And when it comes to telling children or family members, you have to do what's best for you. I personally believe honesty is key. And again, you know your family member better than most, so you know how to present it. It's all about perspective. If people could just get over, it's not a big orgy or whips and chains and handcuffs. I mean, people in lifestyle, people in the lifestyle in general, from what I've come across, are some of the most accepting, genuine, kind people. It's really frustrating that it gets such a bad rap. And listen, no matter what it is, there's always shitty people in the world. But thankfully, I've found a lot of good ones to surround myself with in our lifestyle choices. And I truly hope anybody out there just getting into the lifestyle or thinking about getting into the lifestyle, I truly hope you find those people because they show you what is really, really beautiful about living different dynamics and different things that can really enhance your relationship, build love, build trust, just create a rock-solid foundation. It's pretty amazing. I'm not sure what next week's episode will be, but come fucking hell or high water, there will be an episode every damn week. I appreciate you all. And again, if you've sent me an email, I promise you, I am looking at emails and only fans tomorrow. Ooh. To me, that means I should go to bed. Next week, I will sound much more lively. I will be much more medicated and not look like Quasimodo if you are watching me on YouTube. I hope everyone has had an amazing week. I hope everyone has an amazing upcoming week. Everyone be kind. I love you all. And I will talk to you next week. Mwah!