0121 Female Led Relationships: Unlocking the Secrets of Female-Led Relationships

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I have a passion for exploring non-traditional relationship dynamics, I've spent years diving into the intricacies of FLRs, learning from personal experiences, and sharing insights with like-minded folks. Though I'm not a licensed professional, my honest and open-minded approach makes this podcast a space where curiosity meets conversation.

In this episode, we crack open the secrets of female-led relationships and why they're gaining traction among couples today. Drawing from a fascinating 2016 survey of 20,000 couples, we dig into the dynamics that make FLRs tick, like the surprising roles men play, even as primary breadwinners. Plus, we'll chat about how communication and trust can make these partnerships both empowering and satisfying, all while busting myths around BDSM.

This episode is a must-listen if you're curious about the balance of power in modern love or contemplating a shift in your own relationship dynamics. You'll walk away with eye-opening statistics, personal anecdotes, and a treasure trove of resources like Conquer Him to support your journey into FLRs. Dive into the world of female empowerment relationships and discover how trust and communication can lead to fulfilling and harmonious partnerships.

References:
Conquer Him: conquerhim.com
Survey by Te-Erika Patterson, 2016

Potential Listener Questions:
1. What are the dynamics of a female-led relationship and how do they work?
2. How can a couple successfully maintain a healthy female-led relationship without BDSM?
3. Wh

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Transcript

0:00:00 - Speaker 1
Okay, ready, one, two, here we go. This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you're not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and would love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions Welcome back. 

This week we're going to go over some fun facts about female-led relationships, so get your listening ears on. This is going to be a good one. Let's address some housekeeping. Housekeeping, first and foremost my patreon. Wait, you have a patreon. You say why? Yes, I sure do. That focuses on this podcast and the early stages of my coaching ideas. As far as the podcast, you will get behind the scenes content and you will be able to vote on upcoming show topics and more. As far as the coaching, I will be checking in once a day and answering questions that every patron has the access to ask. My higher tiers include one-on-one video sessions as well as patron shout outs and your questions on an episode. I appreciate all of you hanging in there with me. 

My main goal in this is to be a resource for anyone tiptoeing into the lifestyle. I am not an expert, but I am honest and nonjudgmental. I can share what I've learned from my experiences so far and maybe it will be helpful and maybe not, but I'm here, all right, let's get started. So this week I did some research of my own, like for real. I did it. I didn't make my subbie do it Crazy huh. I found an interesting survey on a website called conquerhimcom I'll put a link below and I actually found the survey on YouTube and it just has a video with like a slideshow of the results. But it was very interesting. This survey was conducted in March of 2016 by Terica Patterson and 20,000 couples that's a lot of couples, which makes me happy. That means there's more people than I realize out there practicing FLR. But back at point, 20,000 couples currently in a female-led relationship were asked different questions about their relationships and the results were fascinating. Let me share them with you. 70% of women polled are younger than the man. I fit into this group. My husband is nine years older than me. 65% of couples are legally married Yep, that's right, I own my subbie legally. More than 70% of their relationships have lasted longer than six years, which makes me wonder and I would maybe look into this at a later date what the average relationship of a married couple is currently, because I think people are getting divorced more and more now. But this August will be seven years for me and my subbie Best seven years ever, or six-ish. 

Most couples met at a social event about 47%. We are not in that 47% unless you consider Zoosk on Facebook a social gathering. I think it's more of a shit show than anything, but I'm thankful for it, because that's where my life changed. One in four couples met because a friend introduced them. We also do not fall into that. My subbie was fishing outside of his pond when we found each other, so we didn't have any mutual friends when we met and by fishing outside of his pond I just mean we were two hours apart when we met. 

More than half of all couples had no idea what a female-led relationship was when they first met. This was 100% me no fucking clue, not a clue. I don't know, though, if my subbie he knew about the lifestyle, but I don't know if he was very well-versed in a female-led relationship. Three out of four couples are involved in their very first FLR and this would be me and my subbie as well. He's had some different dynamics in his relationship. Maybe, dom sub-ish. It was never full-time, it was never to the extent that we are in now, and I'm also the first that's ever practiced chastity with him, because I mean, I'm awesome, why wouldn't I be? 

41% of women took the lead in their previous relationships. As you all know, that was not me. I was, I think, very submissive in my past relationships. Depending on how you want to look at it, I pretty much did everything. So I was, I think, very submissive in my past relationships. Depending on how you want to look at it, I pretty much did everything. So I was more of like a mom to my previous partners. So I was in control of everything, but I did things the way they wanted me to do it. I didn't like it, I just didn't know until I met my subbie. I didn't like it, I just didn't know, until I met my subbie. 

More than three out of four couples said the man introduced the concept of a female-led relationship. This is 100% true in my world, but ladies, don't be shy. If this is something that you're interested in, talk about it with your partner. In 82% of female-led relationships, the man is the primary breadwinner. I don't know if this surprises me or not. Now again, this was 2016, so these results could be entirely different. This is absolutely true in our case, but I am working hard every day to change that, not because I don't want him to work hard for all the money, but because the job he does is killing his mind, body and soul a little bit every day. I want to get him out of this soul-sucking career that he's been doing for over 30 years. No stress on my shoulders, hey. No stress on my shoulders. Hey. 

Nearly 95% of men in female-led relationships perform the majority of the household duties. This is somewhat true in our relationship. I do most of the cooking and cleaning by my choice, because here's where I'm at with that at this point in my life. I do things a certain way and if they're not done my way, they're done the wrong way. I'm working on it, but I do it because I want to, not because he makes me, or whatever. It's a choice. I choose to take that responsibility. He does most of the like in the summer he mows the lawn. He if you follow me on TikTok generally shovels the driveway, unless he disobeys, he handles the house maintenance. For the most part. I kind of take care of the things inside of the house, like the people that live here, the small garage, goblins and everything else inside the house. He makes all the money and then he comes home and maintains the outside of the house. So far it works well for us. 

The majority of women in FLR 41% delegate which responsibilities and duties the man has. Well, this is absolutely true in our house. I make the rules, he follows them. I like it. 30% of couples and FLRs have equal say in decisions, yet the man defers to her opinion if it is important to her. This is also very much true in our house. I will always discuss major decisions, even some of the more minor decisions, with my subbie before I make a decision. I always get his opinion because I value it, and then I make the final decision opinion because I value it and then I make the final decision. It doesn't always have to be that way. You have to find what works for you in your relationship. This one is great Only 5% of women report being in control of every single aspect of their relationships. I love this. It just goes to show that even in an FLR relationship there is teamwork, as there should be. That's a lot of responsibility to be in control of everything and if you're just starting out in FLR, it can be fucking overwhelming. 

Take it slow, work into it, don't? I mean, if you have a pie, you don't eat the whole pie in one bite. Take one little step at a time, work into it. Just my opinion of confidence about leading Holy fuck. This one hits home for me. Ladies, I have been there. I know this feeling deep in my soul. This is the reason I say start out slow and take baby steps. There will be bumps in the road. You will make mistakes. Do not focus on those mistakes. Put them in the past and start fresh. I am the fucking queen of overthinking shit. Seriously, the queen and I have had the best success with letting go when I fuck up and just moving on. It is hard to do so hard, but you cannot focus on your mistakes. You have to put them in the past, learn what you can learn from them and move on. Don't give up. You got this. I have faith in you. Here's another one that fucking speaks to me as well. 

More than half of all couples believe they will face negative backlash from friends and family if they open up about their FLR. My biggest concern is my oldest son finding out about all of this. He is still living in my hometown and he's a good kid. He has an open mind, he's generally accepting, but sometimes when I have conversations with him, he's very intelligent and I don't think that he would disown me. I think I would be more hurt if he was disappointed and I would have to try and explain to him. You know, I think the biggest misconception about female-led relationships is it's whips and chains and ball gags and all of this stuff all of the time. But it's not. If people would just focus on the perspective of the emotional aspect of it and the amount of trust and communication that goes into a female-led relationship, I think the perspective would be so different. It's not fucking Pornhub all the time. 

We live a female-led relationship that is so fucking vanilla most of the time because, as you all know, we have a house full of kids and people in general. It can be done and you have to do what works for you and for fuck's sake, don't be ashamed. You're doing what you want to do. It's a consensual thing in your relationship. If people don't like you because of that, they aren't meant to be in your life. For instance, me. We've been in a female-led relationship for years and my friends don't know not all of them. There's a couple that know. But if they find out and decide that they don't want to be my friend anymore but they have been for the past three years or whatever that I've been doing this and they just didn't know. But now that they know they don't want to be my friend, fuck you, I'm done. You don't need to be in my life. That's just the universe's way of saying this person doesn't serve you anymore. Bye, bye. 

It's hard when it's close family or close friends that you receive negative kickback from, but if this is what makes you happy, don't give up. Case in point more than 8 out of 10 couples in FLRs report being extremely satisfied with their relationships Because there is trust and communication. I can't say this enough it's a fucking healthy relationship. Don't let anybody give you shit about it. According to the couples polled in this survey on conquerhamcom, the major benefits of being in a female-led relationship are one eliminated arguments and no power struggles. Two, the woman expresses gratitude for the freedom she feels to be the best woman she can be and who doesn't want to fucking feel that way in their relationship? I mean, why and why wouldn't you want to make your partner feel that way? Three the man never has to guess if she is happy or what she wants from him. She will tell him without hesitation. Those three reasons alone speak volumes to me. This was like the coolest survey ever. I really. I hope you guys liked it as much as I do. 

I did go to the site conquerhimcom. I reviewed the site. It's a great site for information. They have a ton of stuff on there and the website is very user friendly. They offer FLR coaching programs. They have a Conquer Him social community, female led relationship merchandise little promo for myself I'm working on some merch for me. Promo for myself I'm working on some merch for me. They have books, matchmaking services, etc. I didn't deep dive into the site. I just browsed it briefly and it seems to have some great information. Here is the positive to this website, and I have been hearing this more from the feedback that I've been getting from the podcast, hearing this more from the feedback that I've been getting from the podcast. 

There are women out there who are interested in doing or participating in a female-led relationship, but they're getting scared away because you look it up and if it automatically goes somewhere like Pornhub or it seems that most of the information that continues to come up is constant whips, chains, things like I mean just real, more BDSM type material. And if there's one thing that I can get across is you can absolutely be in a female led relationship and not participate in those things. Now, I'm not saying that I'm opposed to participating in those things, because I'm absolutely not, but it just doesn't jive with what we have going on in our life at this moment. That doesn't mean it will never happen, but just know that you can participate in a female-led relationship in a very vanilla style. I understand that sounds like oil and water. Is that the right analogy? I think so. There are things that you can do to live this lifestyle and not have to necessarily participate in the BDSM thing. If that's not what you're into, I think the next few episodes are going to be more geared towards how we live our female-led relationship in kind of a vanilla style. 

I think there is a lot of interest in that and, honestly, you guys, if you have questions, please email me. All my contact information is below. All my contact information is below. I am fascinated to hear your ideas, your thoughts. I love answering questions. I don't know everything by any means, and I've said that, but I will absolutely do my best to answer your questions and if I know somewhere else to guide you to help answer that question better, I will absolutely send you there. I just want people to understand how healthy these relationships can be and how happy you can be as a couple participating in a female-led relationship. I will definitely say that we are part of the eight out of ten couples that are extremely satisfied with our female-led relationship. 

I would highly recommend checking out conquerhimcom. It's a great website, just to kind of explore, see if there's anything that interests you. I know there's books on there if you want to check out a book. And if you do check out a book, let me know. I hope everyone has a fantastic week, stay safe and we will chat soon. Take care, mwah. Hey, we come in.