0120 Female Led Relationships: Creative Bondage on a Budget: Tips and Tricks

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I'm taking a deep dive into the world of bondage, exploring its various forms and discussing safety precautions for beginners. I share my own experiences and provides helpful tips for those interested in trying out this kink. Listeners will gain valuable insights into different types of restraints, including handcuffs, rope play, and suspension rope play. I emphasize the importance of communication and safety during these activities. 

This episode offers valuable information for listeners interested in bondage and BDSM. My candid approach and personal anecdotes make the topic more accessible and relatable. By sharing my own experiences and research, I aim to help listeners understand the nuances of bondage and how to practice it safely. Additionally, I emphasize communication and consent highlights the importance of respect and trust in BDSM relationships.

References:
Beginner Bondage Rope Set
Beginner Bondage Restraints Set
Beginner Bondage Basics Book

Listener Questions:
1. What are some safe and budget-friendly bondage tools for beginners?
2. How can I incorporate bondage into my relationship while ensuring safety and trust?
3. What online resources are available for learning more about BDSM and bondage techniques?

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:51

I can hear you peeing. All right, one, two. This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you are not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. Visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions Welcome back. This week I'm going to tie up some of your time and talk about bondage. I'm so punny. But first let's address some housekeeping. Housekeeping A huge thank you. Ooh, that sounded naughty. Huge, a huge thank you. In all seriousness, I reached 10,000 downloads in one month. Seriously, you guys fucking rock. I can't even believe it. Thank you so much, sincerely. Alright, let's get this shit going. Today we are going to talk about bondage. Now, let me preface this by saying that I am 100% green on this topic. Well, unless you consider me locking my hubby's cock in a cage as bondage which I mean in a sense I'm restraining him and that I am well versed in, but I received an email from a listener stating that they would be interested in me talking about bondage, so you get to come along on my journey of learning Enjoy. What is bondage besides fucking hot? Well, let's ask Google. This is what Google says. One the state of being a slave. Two sexual practice that involves tying up or restraining one partner. Right below that there was a BDSM bondage definition, which is the practice of consensually tying, bonding or restraining a partner for erotic or aesthetic stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of ropes, cuffs, bondage tape or self-adhering bandage, and we'll get into those later. Now let me say I understand that bondage and BDSM are very much intertwined, and BDSM are very much intertwined Specifically because if you're going to restrain someone, there are probably spankings and other forms of punishments on the horizon, I assume. I also assume that is what really gets the stimulation going when the restraints go on. But for this specific episode, we are going to just focus on the bondage aspect as much as possible. There were so many definitions. When I googled what bondage was, I specifically googled what is bondage. That's what I typed and everything I read the first thing it said referenced slavery. To me, that kind of sheds some light on where people in the world who have a negative opinion on kink or many of the different kink lifestyles. For example, if someone had approached me 10 years ago and asked me if I would be into trying bondage, more than likely it would have been a big fuck, no, or I would have said get fucked. And I probably would have been a little disgusted that the person even felt comfortable approaching me about it, because that was my frame of mind 100% vanilla, not really open to trying new things. However, the next time I was alone or had some privacy, I probably would have Googled the definition of bondage because I had no idea, which would have then turned me off even more when I saw a reference to slavery. Now, this is just me looking back on myself. I guess I can't say 100% for sure, but I don't think it would have been something I was into. I just think people get such a bad taste in their mouth about kink because of the bland definition of things Maybe not so much for bondage since the evolution of Fifty Shades of Grey and other movies like that, which may be a good thing. Maybe it will open some people's eyes and allow them to look at it without the horrible association of what kink is, the horrible association of what kink is. I think there needs to be more light shed on the emotions and the trust that goes along with different types of kinks. For example this is just my example locking your husband's cock in a cage. That takes an enormous amount of trust and communication and, seriously, what relationship doesn't thrive when you have trust and communication? But I digress Back to the topic at hand. To this day I still have no desire to be the one tied up or blindfolded, for my own personal reasons. But being the one in control absolutely appeals to me. Now I would maybe consider letting my subbie blindfold me, but it's very unlikely, because I don't like to fucking take orders. I don't like being told what to do. It's just not how I'm wired. I don't like somebody else having control over my body or what they're doing to it. I want that control. I want to be in control of their body and what I'm doing to them. I want the ball to be in my court or the balls in my purse, whichever I mean. Both really works. And again I'm getting off track, of course, with bondage, the number one thing that we should probably talk about is safety, because with bondage people can get hurt or bad things can happen if you're not careful. First and foremost, you want to make sure both you and your partner have clear boundaries on what is a soft no, hard no and for fuck's sakes, have a safe word. Be sure you communicate with one another on what that word is. Communication is key, what that word is. Communication is key, which I say all the time In doing my own research and you should be doing your own. Don't just go off of what I say, because this is kind of a newish topic to me. Other than the cock cage situation, here's what I've learned about safety measures when participating in bondage. One never leave your partner tied up alone. They are more than likely very stimulated at least I would hope so and probably not thinking with a clear head or, in my case, the right head, meaning they could possibly hurt themselves if they try to escape or, depending on the position, if they pass out or fall, could seriously harm themselves. So you just want to make sure you don't leave them alone, don't tie them up and go make yourself a fucking sandwich. That would be a bad idea. Number two pay attention to how tight the restraints are. If you notice discoloration of the limbs or body parts, the restraints are more than likely too tight and need to be loosened and need to be loosened. Number three make sure during the bondage session there's clear communication of any issues the restrained person may be experiencing, for example, tingling. Limbs or body parts may need to reposition or loosen the restraints. So maybe they're in a position that has their arms over their head and sometimes if your traps are tight or anything like that and your arms being above your head, it can pinch a nerve, cause tingling, loss of feeling. That's not good, so you may just need to reposition them, let their arms hang back down. Be sure to take into consideration the flexibility of your partner. My subbie has shoulder issues, knee issues, due to the type of work he's done for over 30 years, and while I do want to inflict pain, I would choose not to put him in any position that could possibly damage anything anymore in those areas In my case I don't have much flexibility. So for the purpose of the episode say I was being tied up, my hands don't go very far up behind my back, which I think is pretty common. Unless you're flexible Like I've never been arrested I don't know what that feels like, but I just don't have much flexibility the hogtie position would probably never work for me, or my husband for that matter. Okay, let's dig into the types of things you can use for bondage. For most of you, you probably have some of these items laying around your house which would allow you to take bondage for a test drive before really investing a bunch of money into something that you may end up not liking. Number one on the list is a scarf. Most people have some sort of scarf laying around. I think silk or something soft would be the best and least intrusive if you're using it to tie somebody's hands up or anything like that. It can be multi-purpose. You can use it to tie wrists, tie ankles again, you could do the hog tie, or you could use it for a blindfold. Nylons are another great item to use, and some of you may have them lying around the house. It could also be an added element of sexy time play. If you're wearing the nylons first, it can be part of a scene where you take them off and use them as a blindfold, or use them to tie your partner's wrists or feet, whatever the case may be. A necktie is another good one. My subbie hasn't worn a necktie ever, but I think we still have three of them. I mean, he's obviously worn them or we wouldn't have them, but I think most people have a necktie laying around their house. This can also be incorporated in a sexy playtime where you find a way to seductively remove the tie and you can tie. If you have multiple ties, you could tie them to the bedposts with neckties or, you know, a blindfold. It's very multi-purpose and can be very sexy. Another inexpensive tool is bondage tape and again, I'm late to the party. I didn't even know this existed, but it's fantastic. It's a tape that adheres only to itself. You can find it on amazon. I'm sure they have it at sex shops. The two rolls that I found on amazon it was two rolls that I found on Amazon. It was two rolls that were 33 feet each and they were $10.72, which is pretty reasonable. You're not out a ton if you buy that and you hate bondage. So this tape just adheres to itself and won't stick to the skin Like, for instance, if you were using duct tape. That shit fucking hurts when it comes off. I'm not going to explain how I know that, but it is a staple in fixing things in our world, sometimes Getting into the more heavy items of bondage that you may not have laying around your house, but maybe you do. Are handcuffs your house, but maybe you do are handcuffs? If you're using metal handcuffs, I would advise that you be very careful With movement. It can rub the skin raw, cause an irritation. I would also recommend getting the handcuffs that have the safety lock so once they're locked in place they can't get any tighter. Should they get bumped or hit or if the person you're restraining is squirming, you don't want it to lock tighter. It could cut off circulation and it can just be painful. It's metal they do make and I'm sure people have seen them. Sex shops have the furry handcuffs or plastic ones. I guess it just depends on what you're interested in or what you like. They also make leather cuffs for your wrists. I don't know how comfortable the leather specifically would be on your wrists with movement. I would think it would still cause some friction, maybe cause some irritation depending. But I know that they make ones that have like a fur or velvet or something on the inside that can make the person wearing it a little more comfortable when there's movement. It doesn't rub the skin raw or irritate the. I just keep going with wrists because that's what I think of, but they make them for ankles and they make them with little hooks so that you can just if you have chains or rope or whatever you can tie them to bedposts, you can tie their arms above their heads or the hog tie, things like that. Speaking of irritation or the restraints being too tight, this probably kind of goes more with the safety. But putting the restraints on your partner is very similar to putting a dog collar on a dog. You want to make sure that you can fit, for example, three fingers side by side underneath the restraint when it's in its locked position, so there's room for the restraint to move, for example on the wrist up and down, but not off of the hand. You want to make sure there's room for circulation. If you see fingers starting to turn purple or there's tingling or numbness, the restraint is probably too tight and needs to be moved or loosened, not moved. So the last one is rope, and this is a whole nother topic in itself is a whole nother topic in itself. Rope has so many uses. Rope play is fascinating to me, fascinating. There's different kinds of rope play that involves suspension, just simple restraint. It's just a very vast topic. Or there's just a lot of different things you can do with rope play, from what I've found. For example, this last summer me and my subbie were in our super secret happy place and I got to witness some suspension rope play. Now, if you're going to try and do suspension rope play yourself, I would very highly recommend that you take classes, learn how to do it correctly, because that shit could cause some serious bodily harm, not the kind of shit that you want to fuck around with. Anyway, there was a gathering at the pavilion at our happy place and I got to see a guy who's trained in suspension rope play do a scene with a girl and it was so fucking cool Like I couldn't stop staring at it. It was fantastic. And then there was a female who did all of her. She tied herself up herself and did the suspension rope play all on her own. Like that's fascinating to me. You know how strong I'd have to be to hold my fucking body weight up. It was just really fucking cool. I've never seen anything like it. That's my small tone coming out. In addition to the suspension rope play, there is a guy I follow on TikTok and for the life of me right now I cannot fucking remember his name. I think it's Rory, but I could be wrong. There's so many cool fucking designs you can do. It's just amazing. I'm lucky if I can tie a normal knot, much less some of the cool ass shit he does. I would love to learn more. It's so fucking hot. It looks amazing. Again, with that, you want to make sure that there is plenty of room, because these designs are pretty intricate and if something's too tight it could take a bit to get it off. You just want to be careful and know what you're doing it off. You just want to be careful and know what you're doing. I would even maybe consider doing some sort of suspension rope play. To me that sounds kind of cool. I just really have an issue with not having control. As far as just rope play tying your partner up from everything that I've seen you just want to make sure that you like, when you're tying it, for example, around their wrists, when you're initially wrapping it around their wrists, you have your three fingers on their wrist and you wrap the rope around their wrist and your three fingers and then, when you tie the knot, it allows it to slide down in the palm of their hand, but not off of their hand. So if you have them tied with their arms up in the air, they have the ability to hold on to help take some of the weight off. If, for instance, they're on their tiptoes, it just gives them a little bit something more to hang on to. Okay, so quick recap Safety first with bondage, always safety first. Do your own research. There's a lot of cool things out there you can use for bondage. Again, some of the things you may have laying around your house. Always remember open communication, clear communication, safe word. All of that is very important. And start out slow. If you're going to do a bondage session or try bondage. Don't plan a big, long play session. Start short and simple. It may be awkward at first, but hang in there. The more you do it, the better it will get. And if you have questions, everybody's got the best friend, google. Just be careful what you listen to off there. There's some great people on YouTube too. I think I just searched bondage for beginners and there was a ton of videos, ton of videos. You go with what feels right, make sure you're safe, make sure you have your safe word and clear communication, and you'll be just fine. I think that's about it, guys. If you have any feedback, any suggestions, all my contact info is in the link below. I hope this was helpful. I hope you all have a fantastic week and stay safe. Bye.