0117 Female Led Relationships: Punishments and Boundaries

Let's be honest, I'm hard on myself. So when I say that I'm the Conductor of the Hot Mess Express, it's probably not really that bad. It's just life.

That brings up a great point though. Life. Our Female Led Relationship endures "life". And yours could to! Your FLR DOES NOT have to mimic what's found on PornHub or FetLife. There are no cameras in your house that you have to perform for. Or maybe there is? I don't know. But my point is that your FLR is YOUR FLR!

In this episode, I talk about creative punishments and boundary-setting. I share different ways of addressing unacceptable behaviors like unauthorized purchases or lack of communication. I cover various punishment methods, emphasizing the importance of communication and mutual consent and various ways your FLR can be specifically yours so that it can work for you both.

This episode is crucial for listeners eager to enhance their understanding of female-led relationships. By focusing on creative discipline and boundary-setting, it offers valuable insights into effective communication and consent. Keywords like "female-led partnerships," "creative punishments," and "relationship dynamics" highlight the episode's focus, providing listeners with practical tips for personal growth and relationship harmony.

References and Links:
Female-Led Relationships Community
Consent in FLR

Potential Listener Questions:
1. What are creative punishment

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:50

I'm not going to say you were right, because there's a recording. But back to the task at hand. This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you are not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and would love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions Welcome back. Last week we talked about the nice list. This week we're going to cover the naughty list, but first let's address some. I love, love, love the emails that I've been getting, and there's always room for more. Please help a girl out by giving this podcast a review and rating on your favorite platform, much appreciated. Last week we discussed the naughty nice list, concentrating on rewards for your subbie words for your subbie. So this week we're going to address the naughty list. Let's see what would be some good punishments for your subbie when he doesn't listen. We're going to talk about it and, as we've discussed in previous episodes, female-led relationships should have clear boundaries on daily tasks, but the female is always in control. So what do we do when our subbie is naughty? Before a punishment starts, you want to make sure that there is a safe word in place. Safe words are important. You need to know what the boundaries are and you need to know when those boundaries are being pushed. A safe word is mandatory. Now, every relationship is different. When I personally want to punish my submissive, I want to punish him with something that he is not going to enjoy. Now, there's a fine line between a real and like enjoying the punishment but not enjoying it, and it being something where I feel like he may repeat the offense because he enjoys the punishment. Our house is chaotic, so I have to get clever with my punishments, because I can't just walk around the house or make him walk around the house naked while I whip him, as fun as that sounds. There are children and moms in this house, so that isn't an option for me, so I have to be a little creative to discuss some of the things I would use personally for a punishment that are I don't want to say kid-friendly, because that sounds terrible, but it's something that I am able to do in my house with children present and they don't tend to notice. Maybe we should go back a little bit, though, and talk about what would be something that my subbie would get punished for. It could be a plethora of things. He's naughty Not always, though Not really. It could be something as simple as he went to the gas station and bought something for himself without asking first. Now, gas is a given, he fucking needs gas. I'm not going to be like that, but he needs to ask permission before buying anything that maybe he doesn't necessarily need, like a candy bar. Or he didn't pack a lunch one day and decided that he could just have McDonald's without asking. That would be punishable. Decided that he could just have McDonald's without asking. That would be punishable. We could go with saying he's going to be home from work at one time and coming home like an hour and a half later. Now if he texts me and says, hey, it's been a shit day, everything's going wrong, I'm going to be late, okay, if I want to be a bitch, I can still punish him, but his job is punishment enough, so I probably won't. But if he says he's going to be home at a certain time and doesn't show up and is late and doesn't text, it may be a punishable violation? I don't know, depends on my mood that day. What are other things that he does that piss me off? Oh, if we have a rule set in the house and he gives the clearance for somebody to break that rule, that could be a punishable offense for sure. So let's move on to the punishment portion. Again, you determine in your relationship what is breaking the rules, what puts them on the naughty list. That's up to you. It's your relationship. Do whatever the fuck you want. Props to you. That sounded bitchy. I didn't mean it to, but it's your relationship. You decide what works for you and your partner. I say that all the time. Just want to make sure it's sinking in. Sometimes I need multiple times being told something before it sinks in. Just want to make sure it's sinking in. Sometimes I need multiple times being told something before it sinks in. Just ask my subbie. So let's talk about punishments. I'll give you a couple examples of what I do as a punishment. There is a few options. So one option if it wasn't a horrible thing. That I mean not that anything he does is horrible, but if it was just something minor. Sometimes I'll just be a bitch and I won't cuddle with him at night before we go to bed. But this isn't really a punishment, because in the middle of the night we're like fucking magnets and we're stuck together in our sleep anyway, so it's not really a punishment. But he has to fall asleep without touching me, so in a way it's kind of a punishment. Another thing I could do there's a fine line with this one. Another thing I could do there's a fine line with this one. So a spanking with my hand or possibly a paddle would be something that he would enjoy and probably repeat the offense because he would want more. However, if I break out a belt, maybe deep, deep, deep down inside, he will enjoy it, but not much. That was almost a hard no for us for a while, but after discussing it I think that would be a good punishment. However, again, with all the people in our house, me having him bare-assed and whipping him with a belt is probably going to be a hair bit noisy and probably noticed. So that's probably something that will come in the future. But or, if you know, we're alone, which we aren't very often, but if we are, that would be an option. Another thing I do sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it, but if he does something, I will ghost him on text messages or give him the silent treatment. Now, with the text message thing, if he's out working all day and there's something that he texts that he needs, I mean I respond if it's out of necessity, if there's a question that involves our daily function, I will answer that. However, anything else I won't, and he knows I've read it. Or if he's home, I won't respond to his questions unless it's something that's specifically related to how our house is functioning. At that moment Seems kind of petty and childish, but let me tell you it is extremely effective. It is something that he does not like. I tend to go that route first. Not very nice, but what do you do? I tend to go that route first. Not very nice, but what do you do? So here are just some generalized punishments, types of punishments, things you can do. I can give you you know, just for ideas, whatever the case may be. So physical punishments, as we talked about, can include spanking, paddling, caning or other impact tool Impact, I like it as part of the punishment. Or physical punishment like, for example, say whatever he did, and you may have this all set out. You break this rule. This is what you get If you like. Say, for instance, my husband goes to McDonald's and doesn't ask first, well, we can have it established that that is worth five spankings or five hours of me not talking to you and as part of the punishment, they have to count down. So if it's five spankings, they have to count the spankings. If it's five hours of not texting, they need to text you every hour on the hour, letting you know, or letting you know to make sure they're keeping track, or letting you know how many hours are left. Again, personal preference. If you don't want that, then don't do it. But now bondage, I think I like. Possibly I would have to be very creative, I think, but it's a good form of discipline. You can, and I wouldn't even necessarily need to do bondage. I could tell him he has to kneel at my feet for an hour. Now, the soft side of me probably wouldn't do that because I feel bad, because his work is real hard on his knees. So other options you could do is you could make him, put him in a position that you like and make him sit that way for a half hour, hour, two hours, whatever's convenient for you, and shit if you don't have kids in your house. You could make him get down on all fours in front of you and be your footrest and make him sit there while you watch a movie. It's an option. It'd be fucking awesome too. This is one I just read. This is funny. You can make him hold shit between the wall and his nose, like put a ping pong ball on the end of his nose and make him hold it against the wall for as long as you say Ooh, or 10 pennies, one for each finger and thumb. That would be fun. I don't know if anybody else is picking up on this, other than the bondage part of it. It's almost like punishing your kid for doing something naughty. On that note, you could take something away that your selfie likes. Take away his phone, which for me isn't an option because he's self-employed and he needs that for communicating, for work and business. Kneeling in uncooked rice Ouch, that's a good one. Another thing you could do for taking away something that they enjoy like. Again, like I said, I can't take away his phone, so take away a food he likes or specifically don't. If you cook, don't make the food that he likes for a week. Or sometimes my subbie likes to drink the real sugar Mountain Dew. Tell him he's not allowed to have any for two weeks. Tell him he's not allowed to have any for five days, whatever you choose. Now, another one they have listed here is orgasm control. I already control that, whether he's naughty or nice, so that's not an option for me. But you could ruin an orgasm. That's fun. I've done that Right. Is there about ready to go? Stop what you're doing. Edging is another good one. Another option is consider forcing orgasms past the point of comfort. That might be something I have to look a little bit more into. I don't know much about that. Or if somebody here knows something about that, wants to fill me in? I'd be interested. Ooh, you can go back to the old school days. Make him write a hundred times a certain sentence. It could be I will not do, and then whatever he did, that was naughty. Or you could have him write a hundred times how amazing you are. For example, I would make my subbie write Miss Christine controls everything A hundred times. I might just do that for fun. Hmm, interesting. You could also make your subbie do chores that they absolutely despise. If there's something around the house that they absolutely hate doing, that's a fantastic punishment. I don't think there's anything in our house that my subbie hates doing. He pretty much just does what he's told. However, you could assign him a pointless chore. This is fucking awesome Moving pieces of rice from one pile to another or refolding towels. Refolding towels might be good for our house. I like that. I fold one way and my subbie folds another way. It's kind of an inside joke with us. I of course do it right. He disagrees. Of course, in the end I'm always right. Now, this is an interesting one. It says for slaves who wear collars, forbidding them from wearing it for a period of time can be indirectly effective. That's interesting because, as part of my nice list, one of the things that you could do that was nice was take your subbies cage off if you practice chastity. So it's interesting that that could be the nice or the naughty. I think in our case it would be more of a punishment for my subbie than it would a reward, but I don't know. It's interesting. I know he prefers to have it on all the time, so I would think maybe it would lean more towards a punishment. I mean, he doesn't get sex ever anyway, so he might as well lock it up. It's little you could. If you have a certain name that your submissive calls you, you could take away his privilege or her privilege. You could take away their privilege of addressing you that way, all right, so this next one gives me PTSD from fucking TikTok. Public discipline has the added benefit of humiliation. When there is an audience, it can be as simple as a public apology from the slave or physical punishment. Wearing a sign that states the mistake in public forum can cause humiliation. Okay, if there's anything that I have learned, people are real touchy about public displays of your kink. Here's what I'm saying when you publicly participate in something, whether it's a kink or your way of life one, you're going to get a shit ton of kickback for it, understandably so, when you do anything in public, you are taking other people's consent into your hand. Now, don't get carried away with that, because I got attacked about the TSA thing, saying that I violated TSA's consent. I did not fucking violate TSA's consent. However, you have to consider when you are doing anything in a public place, there could be children, there could be people who have trigger issues from past abusive relationships. Anything like that I personally don't openly. I shouldn't say that because I will say mean things to my husband in public, but usually it's just between us, like nobody else can hear. It's such a touchy fucking subject Like fuck, I don't know. There's so many different ways to look at it. I would just say be careful, because for me personally I would feel terrible if I was doing something to publicly humiliate my subbie and some poor kid saw it and was scarred for life. I don't know what the fuck I would honestly be doing in public that could scar a kid for life. But just be careful with any type of public display or public humiliation. Yes, it's a free country. Yes, some people get fucking offended, real easy. Just use your own discretion. How about that? I like that. Just use your own discretion, use your head, think about it and go from there. Now this I would be on board with have your sub call another respected dominant to suggest a punishment. That could be fun and educational and nobody's getting their feelings hurt. Well, other than maybe your sub, but that's fun. Ooh, this one is like mental torture. This one is like mental torture. Play their least favorite song, the weather channel or talk radio. Well, the talk radio wouldn't work for me, because my subbie listens to talk radio all the time, or podcasts like his wife's. You could find other things they don't like and subject them to that for a certain amount of time. That would be fun. Oh, this one's funny. If tardiness is an issue, object them to that for a certain amount of time. That would be fun. Oh, this one's funny. If tardiness is an issue, have them carry an oversized clock. What was that rapper's name from? Okay, that's going to age me, never mind, I can't remember his name anyway. Get a big clock like the big ones they have at the stores, just monstrous. Put it on a big, thick chain and make them wear it around their neck. That'd be fun, okay. So let's recap. There are lots of ways you can implement punishments. For example, like I said with my subbie, I'll ghost him on text messages or I won't respond. I won't let him touch me before we go to sleep. Sometimes I'll just traipse around the house and something that I really know he likes when I wear, because it torments him that way, but I do that all the time, even without a punishment. I will try and see. Maybe we can link it in the show notes, but we've kind of gone over some that I found Physical punishment, spankings, whipping, caning, whatever you choose to beat your submissive's ass with. You could do bondage. You could do mental bondage, either one Restrictive discipline taking away something that they like. The mental bondage would be having them hold a ping pong ball against the wall with their nose for a certain amount of time, or the 10 pennies on the fingers, which actually might look kind of hot if you make them do it naked. Actually, it might look kind of hot if you make him do it naked. Orgasm control you could go to the old school school time punishments and make him write a sentence a hundred times. Make your submissive do a chore he absolutely hates. Assign a chore. That's pointless, like the rice moving it from one pile to another or folding towels. If you practice chastity, have them take their cage off. If that's a punishment or if it's a situation where your submissive slave whatever the case may be wears a collar, don't allow them to wear it. Don't allow your submissive to address you by your specific name. We touched on public discipline. I'm not going to say any more about that. Having your sub call another dominant and that dominant choosing the punishment or playing their least favorite song, making them wear a big clock. These are great ideas. You have to do what's best for your relationship, as I always say, and again, you know you're submissive better than anybody else, so you know what's going to be a good punishment for him. Trust your gut and go with it. As long as you guys have a safe word in place, it's fair game. Make it fun for you, make sure it's a punishment for him. If that's your dynamic In the end, ladies, it's your choice. You're in control. You choose the punishment you see fit. You know what works for you. You know what works for your relationship. Don't doubt yourself. Stay strong. You got this. It's me basically talking to myself after this week. I got this. I can do it. Hope everybody has a fantastic week and come listen next week. Bye.