EP: 0113 - Female Led Relationships - The Trials and Triumphs of Living in Male Chastity

In this episode, I talk about the complexities of male chastity, from choosing the right device to navigating daily challenges. I can speak from personal experience when I offer tips on device sizing, maintenance, and travel considerations, ensuring comfort and safety for those exploring this lifestyle. I also talk aboiut my subbie and his nighttime erections, TSA travel tips, and an exploration of various chastity devices.

This episode is essential for anyone curious about male chastity, offering a candid look into the realities and nuances of this lifestyle. Listeners will benefit from practical advice on device selection and maintenance, as well as open discussions on often overlooked topics like hygiene and emergency preparedness. 

References:

• CB6000 chastity Device
• Chrome Chastity Device
• Black Chastity Device
• Full Male Chastity Belt

Questions:
1. What are the best tips for selecting and maintaining male chastity devices?
2. How can you travel through airport security with a chastity device?
3. What are the common challenges faced in a male chastity lifestyle?

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:50

Fucking chipped a nail. What kind of bullshit is that? This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you're not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. Episode 13. So glad you guys are all here. Let's kick this off with some housekeeping issues. Housekeeping New discovery. This week I got introduced to Gary Vee and I'm going to massacre his name, but I think it's Gary Vaynerchuk. Listening and watching his talks has been fucking empowering. He strongly suggests that content creators ignore the negative in their comments and in their lives. Strongly suggest that content creators ignore the negative in their comments and in their lives. That makes me even more confident to post videos. If you want a personally recorded audio with my seductive tone, hit me up. I'll hook you up A few episodes back. We discussed facing your fears. I believe it was the episode when it comes to female-led relationships, or FLR. Today we are going to discuss what could go wrong with male chastity. Thought it was convenient, since it's episode 13 and it was Friday the 13th. So hey, I want to start off by saying, first and foremost, you should always do your own research on things and be very careful what you take as facts. You should be fact-checking as much as you can, especially when it comes to male chastity, and here's why there are not many men out there who are legitimately practicing male chastity. There is not nearly enough, in my opinion. However, the ones that are out there actively participating in male chastity are generally not blogging about it, which is sad. Come on, guys, let's get some blogs going. Let's talk about what it's like to be locked. So just be careful on what you're reading and make sure it's I don't know, and make sure it's I don't know legit. I mean, you don't want to take advice from somebody who has no fucking idea what the fuck they're doing. Or maybe you do, and if that's it, that's your prerogative. More power to you. You just want to be careful. I mean, after all, you're kind of putting your manhood in a cage, which is fucking hot. Also, when exploring chastity, take your time. Start out slow, start with a few days and work your way up if long term is what you're looking for. Everybody has their own dynamic with chastity. You could do it just during the week, during the day, while you're at work, or you could do it only on the weekends. Find out what works best for you and run with it, and don't take shit from anybody if they tell you you're not doing it right. Everybody has their own dynamic. You do what works best for your relationship, and I know people probably are getting sick of hearing me say that. But listen, this is your life, it's your penis, it's your relationship, and I know people probably are getting sick of hearing me say that. But listen, this is your life, it's your penis, it's your relationship. Do what works best for you and fuck everyone else Not literally, of course, because your penis is in a cage. The first thing I'm going to address is the first thing that we noticed when I locked my subbie up. So the first thing that came up, too, when I did my own research on the internet, in addition to how we kind of live our life or live our relationship, was your nighttime erections. Most men experience a boner. Because I think the word boner is fun, we're going to use that instead of erection. So most men get a boner two to three times a night, generally during REM sleep or REM sleep, whatever you want to call it. So obviously, if you're in a cage, that shit's probably going to wake you up because it fucking hurts, because there's nowhere for your dick to grow. It can be painful to grow. It can be painful. However, my subbie personally has noticed that it goes away the longer he's locked up, or maybe he sleeps through them, but he has not noticed the erections or boners in the middle of the night. Now, with that being said, what was it? Last week he was out of his cage for probably three, maybe five nights total, and he the first couple nights I don't think he experienced anything, but after that he started getting them again and then he put the cage back on and the first two nights of having the cage on he woke up in pain because he had an erection. Now my thoughts on this. The penis knows it's a slow learner sometimes, but it knows when that fucker is locked on and it ain't growing because it don't like it or, scientifically, it's your brain saying hey, listen, fucker, don't get hard, you don't have anywhere to go. However, seems to have short term memory. Because if you take the cage off for a few days he's like oh hey, I'm free, I'm going to get a boner, this is fantastic, I love it. And then the cage comes back on, doesn't register right away. So you get a couple nights of pain In the beginning when you first start trying out chastity if you choose to sleep with the cage on at night. Just know the first two to three nights could be painful. If you're anything like my subbie and you could end up with your night boners and it's going to hurt a little bit, not going to kill you, you'll be all right. But I'm not a doctor so you should do your own research. But it does get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Another thing you could run into when just starting out with chastity or something that could go wrong is trying to find the right cage. That could go wrong is trying to find the right cage. This can be kind of a pain in the ass because if you don't have the right size ring around your balls you can get pinching or you could lose a ball or there's a. You know, you could be uncomfortable, like not the norm uncomfortable that comes with chastity, which my subbie says it's not uncomfortable at all. He prefers to have the cage on than off. But you want to make sure you get the right size, because losing a ball can be real painful and when I say losing a ball, I mean one slides out of the ring that is around your balls. Just in case you didn't know If you're taking this whole situation seriously, because I know maybe for some it's kind of a game hey, let's try chastity, it'll be real fun. And then you know it's not something that you're taking seriously, which is fine. If you don't take it seriously and you want to give it a try and you hate it, be done with it. Nobody's forcing you, but you should definitely take measurements. Now I asked my subbie about how he took measurements. This is what I was told Measure the circumference at the base, or the point where your junk or dick connects to your body. That's the measurement for the ring. So I don't and I just ordered him a couple today and I don't remember what he said the measurement was for his ring going around. But you want to make sure you get a ring that fits good. And then obviously you want to measure your penis limp to determine what size cage you need. Because here the thing If you order one that's too big and it's heavy, it's going to fall off unless your balls hold it on, I mean unless. So if the cage itself is too big, I personally don't find it all that attractive when there's all the empty space in the cage. I'd rather see his little penis filling it up. That's what's hot to me Again. See his little penis filling it up. That's what's hot to me, again. Your own preference. If you don't mind that, go for it. But I think it's going to be a more comfortable fit if everything is where it's supposed to be and there's not a lot of extra space Plus. Then you're not carrying around that extra weight. It's a trial and error thing, for sure. We I think we went through three, I don't remember. I think we went through a few before we actually found the one that I really like, and I just ordered a couple more, which I'll talk about in just a little bit that I'm real excited for. When we initially ordered our first cage, it had different size spacers with it for the balls. So if you can find something that you're ordering online that comes with the three different size rings. Chances are one of them is going to fit. Now, if you have abnormally large balls or I shouldn't say abnormally, because who determines what a normal ball size is really? If you have bigger balls than most, you may struggle to find something that fits around your sack. It's just the nature of the beast. You may have to have something custom made, which could be expensive. Now if you're serious about this and the money doesn't matter, go for it. It'll be worth every penny. In my opinion, average size men with average size or you know, I don't know do men like talk about their ball size? Probably not, and not if they do, they probably don't talk about it honestly. Maybe they do, I don't know. If you have average size balls, it shouldn't be a problem. Like my husband has what I consider to be probably average size balls Small, weenie, average size balls. So I want to say the large ring, medium, medium or large ring worked out well for him. The first one we ordered had all three, so he picked. He tried a couple different. You don't want to cut off circulation to your balls unless you are intentionally trying to castrate yourself, which is not safe. Oh, side note, if your balls turn purple, it's too fucking tight. If it's too loose, a ball's gonna slip out and it's more than likely going to be painful and pretty much renders the cage useless. Even with a cage that does fit, sometimes you lose a ball. It's quite painful and when it happens to my subbie, if I'm not with him, he'll generally text me. I'll get a good giggle out of it On the subject of a ball slipping out. On the subject of a ball slipping out. On the subject of a ball slipping out, once one is gone, generally the other one tries to follow suit, which could potentially lead to the cage falling off. What brings me to that is I'm going to refer to a story from one of my favorite podcasters, michael C of Keys and Anklets, and a story that I heard about a man who was in a meeting and his cage fell off and slipped down his pants and fell to the floor. Now, if you have a silicone cage, that maybe won't make much noise. If you have a metal cage, it's probably going to be noisy and draw attention because it'll probably be a pretty loud clunk when it gets to the floor. Keep in mind this could happen anywhere. For instance, it could happen getting in and out of a vehicle. I mean, if a ball gets loose and the cage is loose, you could be walking down the street and it could fall down your leg. I would assume you're going to notice that a ball came out because, again, it's painful. Probably a good time to hit the bathroom, if you can, and remedy the situation if at all possible to avoid that happening. It would be rather uncomfortable if my husband was getting into our vehicle and our children were in the car and it slipped down his leg. However, we have yet to experience something like that. I'm hoping that doesn't happen because it might be real hard to explain to the kiddos. My subbie has a very labor-intensive job. He's bending, squatting, he's very active, hauling things in, hauling things out, climbing in and out of his truck, doing all of that and very rarely does he have many issues. And very rarely does he have many issues. Even on the times where he has lost a ball, he's generally able to keep things in place until he gets home to fix it. So I think it's all going to depend on how the cage fits each individual person. Everybody is built differently. So I think it's really going to depend on the type of cage you have, how it fits, how comfortable it is for you, things like that, I mean you could lose a ball and be fine. Or you could lose a ball and it could fall off and fall down your pant leg. Now again, if you're wearing tighter pants and there isn't room for it to fall down your pant leg, you might be fine. Or, for instance, my subbie wears real form-fitting boxer brief underwear. So even if something was to happen, the underwear are probably strong enough to hold it in place for the most part. So that's an extra precaution you could take as well If you want to wear tight-fitting boxer briefs, if you want to wear tighty-whities, whatever you want to wear I do know that for work purposes I'm wearing boxers is a big fat fuck. No, there's no support whatsoever when you're wearing a metal cage and you have boxers on. I think temperature is also a factor in balls slipping out of rings. I mean, as I mentioned, I'm in Minnesota and it's getting fucking cold here and things shrink when it gets cold Rightfully so it's fucking cold. That could be a contributing factor as well, and something you may want to consider when wearing a cock cage in the winter If you live in a Midwestern state or somewhere where it gets cold, like my subbie works outside sometimes, or he is outside, wow, okay. So story time real quick. Sometimes he works on new construction so there is no as plumbing, so sometimes in the winter he has to use a porta potty. Sometimes in the winter he has to use a porta potty. Sometimes temperatures in Minnesota get in the negative by like I don't know, 15, 20, sometimes much lower, and you have metal in that temperature and you have to take your pants off to sit down and pee. It's a hair bit chilly. I enjoy it. I don't think he does so much, but he's a good boy and keeps wearing it. Obviously, if he was working outside, I would probably say listen, we're not wearing the metal cage because I may not use it much, but I value your wiener. That would take frostbite to a whole new level. Imagine having to go to the doctor for that. My next topic of what could go wrong. I fucking hate to even bring this up again because it has been a hot topic on TikTok. As we've discussed on previous podcasts, wearing a cock cage when traveling regularly may not be the smartest idea. But I'm going to say this for the hundredth time After my personal experience with TSA and a cock cage. I personally would not recommend wearing one through TSA. However, you're all grown-ass adults. Do what you think is right. If you're going to wear one, then that's totally fine. That's your choice. I stand behind you. Props to you. I just choose not to go through that. Again. If you are going to wear one, I would one recommend that you have a little extra time in case they do pull you off to the side and want to personally inspect you, because it happens, as we all know from past experiences. Two check out TSA's guidelines. I went right on my Twitter, hit up TSA, talked about it in a podcast before you can tell them immediately listen, I have a male chastity device on. You can have a card that says I have a male chastity device on. If you even want to put the model of the male chastity device on, you can have a card that says I have a male chastity device on, if you even want to put the model of the male chastity device on there, just so they're aware what it is. But be prepared, whether they know what it is or not, they may still choose to search you in a separate room. They may not. I would look over TSA guidelines carefully, just to be sure you're prepared and make sure that you have enough time in case they do decide to pull you off to the side and search you. They may not, every airport is different. You just want to be prepared and well-educated. If traveling is something you do all the time and you don't want to take it off, perfect Next time we travel. If we ever get on a plane, I will probably take it off, put it in my carry-on, put it in my checked luggage, whatever the case may be, and he can put it back on when we get there because I choose not to go through that again. Put it back on when we get there because I choose not to go through that again. At least at this time. Things can change. Probably not, though. The biggest backlash I got when I posted a video of me reading about the TSA incident on my TikTok was about how we were subjecting other people to our kink and TSA didn't consent and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is my opinion. I personally probably will not have my husband wear one again if we fly anywhere, but if you want to go for it, just do your own research and be prepared for a search and don't fucking let anybody make you feel guilty about it. I still get a little touchy about this. The whole consent thing pisses me off, but whatever, I obviously believe consent is very important. However, tsa has guidelines about cock cages, so obviously their agents are somewhat trained on it or go through it when they take the job and know that it's a possibility. So there is that and I'm probably done with that subject for now or for fucking good. So the final topic of things that could go wrong is a worry that I have Not horrible, but it has crossed my mind. So my subbie drives a lot for work. He also has a very labor-intensive job. It's not like a high-risk job. He's not doing power lines or anything, but there's always the possibility that something could go wrong In our dynamic. I wear the key around my neck and he has no access to it if we are not together. That being said, with his profession, he does have tools in the back of his truck. I believe he has a bolt cutter back there. He does have a grinder. However, I wouldn't recommend putting a grinder that close to your penis. Bolt cutters probably work better. The lock is not super industrial on his cage specifically, it probably would not be hard to snap it off. But in the event of an emergency say you were in a car accident or have health issues and wind up in an ambulance or an emergency room always be prepared to tell the staff what you're wearing, especially if it's metal. I have not done my own research on this, but to me it seems like if you were having heart issues or something happened and you they had to use the paddles, or you're having an MRI, anything like that, I would think you would want them to know that you're wearing metal on your penis. So that's one of my biggest holy fucks. This could go wrong. Is my subbie being on location working and something goes wrong and he has to dig tools out to get it off, or ending up in an emergency room or in an ambulance or something like that. I haven't really looked into what you could do to know. I mean, you don't want to wear a bracelet on your wrist that says I'm wearing a cock cage, but just be prepared to have to explain to an emergency professional, just in case you never know. Life's unpredictable if you're going to wear a chastity device long-term or if it's something you're going to wear every day, like in our instance. He wears it all the time. Obviously, keeping it clean is very important because you pee on it and it can get very stinky and dirty and cause some real problems. But before I move into that, I just want to clarify again that the things I have discussed up until this point in the podcast and in the podcast in this episode and in podcasts before, in general I am not an expert. If you know anything about me or if you have listened to previous podcasts, I'm new. I'm navigating my way through all this with limited knowledge on how it all works. I'm doing my own research. I'm just kind of sharing with you how things have gone for us, things that have happened that I could hopefully spare you from having to go through, if it's something that would be utterly embarrassing or if it's something that can help you not put yourself through a situation, if you can avoid it or save you from unnecessary pain or, if you like, pain right on. These are just my experiences, my opinions. Everybody should do their own research and come to their own conclusions, especially when it comes to male chastity, and always remember it's your body, it's your relationship. You should have a discussion with who you're in a relationship with and what works for both of you. All right, let's talk about cleaning your junk. I have looked up this past week many different websites and things like that about cleaning your cock cage. So our cleaning regimen right now is my subbie takes a shower usually twice a day because he showers before he goes to work and then he showers when he gets home from work because he's dusty and feels gross. So twice a day he is washing with soap and water and he has the type of cage that he can get his fingers in there, clean it out with some soap. We have a removable shower head. He can rinse it off real good and then once a week generally he will take it off to do some manscaping and gives it a good clean. We have an old toothbrush that is hidden for that use specifically. Get some Dawn Dish soap on there, scrub it off real good, make sure it's really clean, rinse it with real hot water before he let it cool down, obviously before he puts it back on. So far that's kind of been our cleaning regimen for his cage and it seems to be working. I did a little research and there are some people and this is really going to be dependent on the type of cage you have as well, because depending on how much airflow you get in there is going to determine the amount of smell from urine, would be my assumption. I know, when we had the full cage and I think we talked about this on a past episode too it was full steel with just a slit on the end and there was really no way to get in there and get it clean while he was wearing it. That one is something where you probably need to take it off, rinse it out with soap and water at least daily, because there's no ventilation in there. So if your pee doesn't come out that little hole right in the front and splatters anywhere inside there, the whole thing stunk and specifically with the one that we had, it started to rust, which we maybe should have done more research before we went with that one. It might be something like that might be better for, hey, we're going out on the town and this one looks fucking awesome. Let's put this one on. It's a night of play or something like that. That might be a better one for that, but I would not recommend the full metal one like no breathing room, just the slit at the end Probably wouldn't recommend that for a daily driver. I did read some people will splash some water on the end of the cage and then pat it dry or whatever after they urinate. You can use a wipe. A disinfectant wipe or even a baby wipe might do the trick to clean off any urine that maybe got stuck on there while you were peeing. I did read and we have never done this. I don't know if that makes us gross, but some people boil theirs. So you don't want to boil it too often. But I read that you can boil them and then rinse them off. Real good, I would be careful. You probably don't want to boil the lock because it would really suck if that rusted closed. I've never tried boiling it. Might be worth a shot. Personal preference maybe. Do a little more research on it before you boil it. I don't know. I don't think manufacturers, when you order one, really give you any specific cleaning instructions. I just ordered two more for my subbie and I don't recall seeing anything about cleaning instructions on it at all. So cleaning is kind of a trial and error. I would definitely recommend, if it's something you're going to wear every day, all day, you figure out what works best for you and what you're most comfortable with and avoid smelling, because pee smells horrible. In my opinion, I mean really soap and water it's the best. If you ask me and I read a lot about disinfectant wipes too I guess just be careful what kind of disinfectant wipes you're using that close to your penis, if the cage is on while you're cleaning it. I do know that they make uh, like they make wipes for specifically for adult men and women. I'm not sure if they're flushable or anything like that, but they're like if you don't have access to a shower, you can wipe off with one of these, and I can't remember what they're called right now, but those might be another option too, depending on how expensive they are. But they might really take care of the urine smell if you really want to just wipe off the end of it or whatever after you've gone pee and take care of business. So in my investigating, I have been looking for new cages for my subbie for some time now and have had no luck, because I personally choose not to stick anything up his urethra. I don't know if that's something that I will develop into, but I really don't think so, because I personally have had a catheter and I didn't like it. I didn't fucking like it at all and I don't know if I personally could stick anything up there and I don't think it would be a turn on to me. So it's probably going to be a no. I've really struggled to find cages that I like, that don't have that device like built in. So as I was looking through for cleaning and what could go wrong with what could go wrong with wearing a chastity device, just because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't missing anything, I found some things I didn't even know existed. This is where I'm a little naive. One article talks about a Tali boy. I don't know if I'm saying that right or not, but it's a full chastity belt for men and it has chains that come up your ass cheek, like on either side. It like splits in a y and some of them have one that comes right up your ass crack and then it, I want to say it points your penis downwards and tucks it back. If I'm not mistaken, I was intrigued, not going to lie, I looked into it, but then I was thinking how do you poop? Because these are the things that go through my head. How do you take a shit with that chain right up your ass crack, and how do you clean that after you poop with that chain there? I mean, even if you move it to the side, what if you had tacos and things are a little bit explosive and whatever? Are you holding that chain to the side? Will you have muddy waters coming out your asshole? I did read for cleaning on those. They recommend you have a bidet. I don't have a bidet. Most public restrooms don't have a bidet. I guess if you never shit in public and own a bidet, it might be okay. I would be very interested, though, in hearing anybody's thoughts if they've ever wore a full male chastity belt. I'd be very curious on what you liked about it, what you didn't like about it. I don't need to know how you take a shit, that's fine but I'm very curious about comfort and what you like about it. It seems it's interesting to me. I'm kind of intrigued. I don't think I want to try it, but I'd be very interested in talking to people who have maybe tried it. And is that something you could wear all the time? And how do you pee if your penis is pointed down? I may have to do more of my own research Interesting. I also looked up another popular cock cage that came up was the CB3000 and the CB6000. Those seem very similar to the famous pink one that my hubby wore through TSA. They make them in metal, they make them in silicone. I think they have plastic. That was one of our first few as well. Now those I struggle especially with the silicone, with the pee situation and the smell and getting it clean. I think I really prefer the metal for many reasons. I'm going to throw some links in the show notes about a couple places that I found. There's one that will custom build chastity devices for men. From what I've seen, they do fantastic things. The place I just ordered from and I was super pumped to find, is called lovegasmcom or lovegasmco, the two that I ordered. One is called the Dark Nightstick. I mean the name sounds awesome in itself but it's metal and black. So I'm very curious to see how that works, because I've never purchased one that is metal and not silver. So I'm curious if they powder coat that or how that's going to work out. I'll keep you posted. The other one that I ordered it's called Stainless Steel, rattlesnake Metal Chastity Device. This one is smaller than any that I've ever ordered, and it has a much different design. It looks real kick-ass online, so when we get it, I'll have him model it and we'll post it on OnlyFans. You can tell me what you think it and we'll post it on OnlyFans. You can tell me what you think. And there's another one that I wanted to order, but I was told no, just kidding, nobody ever tells me no. The next one I want to try, though, is it's called Caught in Her Web Metal Chastity Device. That one looks cool as shit. Another brand or type. I don't know if this is the actual, just general name for this type of cage. I've never tried one, mainly because I don't like the way they look personally, but I'm not 100% certain. I may want to order one just because. But the bird cage? It's very open and airy, and instead of the circles around the cage going the short way I don't even know how to explain this they go down the length instead of the width of the cock, so it literally looks like a bird cage. Now, to me that seems like it would be real easy to get yourself off with that cage on. Not that my husband is ballsy enough. To me that seems like it would be real easy to get yourself off with that cage on. Not that my husband is ballsy enough to try that, but maybe I don't know. I just don't know what I think of the look of them. Maybe give that a try and see what I think. I don't know, but I would like to build up a little collection of different cages for him. We have a pretty limited selection right now and we kind of have limited storage to put them right now with all of the people in my home. So just to kind of recap the whole show One, if you're going to do chastity, do your own research, take your time, go slow. Possible things that could go wrong. While participating in male chastity, you are going to probably get night boners and they're going to hurt. However, they will get better. There's the possibility of losing a ball, which can be painful and cause the cage to fall off. Each situation is different. It'll be like a surprise. Obviously, traveling, flying, having to go through TSA with a cage, has its own uh-ohs and in case of an emergency if you wind up in an emergency room in the hospital, have a car accident, things like that, anything like that you need to be prepared to explain what's going on down there or if you're in a labor intensive job, having a backup plan if you don't have an extra key things like that Cleaning make sure you're using soap and water. Make sure you're cleaning it good. You don't want any bacteria to build up around your penis. I would recommend a cage that is airy, allows airflow, keeps things moving. I think it's going to prevent the pee smell. Real curious about if anybody has any feedback on the Tali Boy Full Chastity Belts. If anyone has anything to say about those or opinions or things like that, I would be very curious. I just want to say thanks to everybody for coming back and taking a listen. I love that you like hearing what I have to say and opinions. Always feel free to hit me up with questions. I love answering questions. Hope everybody has a fantastic week. Talk to you next week. Take care.