EP: 0112 - Female Led Relationships - Mastering Money and Navigating Financial Dynamics

This episode dives into the complexities of managing finances in female-led partnerships, especially within dominant-submissive dynamics. From exploring creative tools like the "naughty jar" to discussing financial management structures for those in unpredictable careers, the episode offers a plethora of strategies to maintain financial harmony. Listeners will also hear personal stories and insights on the importance of establishing a solid financial foundation and understanding power dynamics.

For those interested in mastering financial control within unique relationship dynamics, this episode is a must-listen. It provides valuable insights into balancing income and power, with practical advice for couples dealing with financial volatility due to self-employment. Whether you're in a dominant-submissive relationship or simply curious about these dynamics, this episode offers actionable strategies for effective money management in female-led partnerships.

References:  
@krystinekellogg on all socials!

Questions:
1. How can financial management be effectively handled in female-led relationships?
2. What strategies are available for couples facing income volatility in dominant-submissive dynamics?
3. How does one maintain financial stability in a self-employed, unpredictable career?

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:50

Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2: 0:55

This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you're not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Hey everyone, episode 12. Let's kick it off with some housekeeping Housekeeping. So if anyone is interested in a personalized erotic voiceover or a not safe for work voiceover or a custom audio, I can do answering like your voicemail phone system stuff. I can read erotic books. I've done a couple of them. You'll have to hit me up Next. Housekeeping TikTok. Thank you to all my new followers. I posted a TikTok of what happens when I let my husband edit video for me. Maybe it's not as funny to everybody else, but I laughed till I about peed. It was fantastic. So thanks to all my new followers. Next thing is I would like to do a shout out to Lake Stevens Washington, because you folks fucking rock. Seriously, you top the list of the entire world for downloads. Reach out to me because I want to get to know you guys. So thanks, lake Stevens Washington, for being kick-ass supporters of my podcast. You guys are fucking awesome. Let's talk about money, money, money. Side note how fucking cool is my new housekeeping intro. My subbie is such a good boy, you will make lots of money for me. Okay, so money. There are many different ways to approach who handles their money. In a female-led relationship, most people would probably just automatically jump to, it's the female because she runs everything, but it's not always the case. The first thing I want to state is no matter how the money is controlled or taken care of or whatever, in your relationship and I say this in probably every one of my podcasts because I really believe it's important there has to be a good foundation. You have to have boundaries, you have to have safe words so that one or the other knows when something is going too far or you're not comfortable with what's happening. You need to make sure you're both on the same page before you step into something and it borders on sounding like role play, but like, for instance, like I've said, for us this isn't a role play thing. We live this every day, but you have to make tweaks to it to accommodate your life. Not everybody has kids, not everybody doesn't have kids, not everybody has, you know, just them in the house. Or there's always other circumstances that contribute to how you run your relationship or how the relationship works for you. So, first and foremost, make sure you have a good foundation, make sure you're very aware of what your partner's boundaries are, that you're both on the same page, and then just work through it as you go and then everything just kind of falls into a rhythm and moves smoothly. There will always be bumps in the road. There is for everyone. You just have to have a maybe have a thing in place where, hey, if something happens, we take a time out, we sit down and we discuss Again. Everybody's dynamic is different. You have to do what's best for yours. Different, you have to do what's best for yours. I did some research on the different avenues you can go down for money control and things like that. There are things in there that I never would have thought of, but they're fantastic. So I would recommend, if you are unsure of how to proceed with who controls your money or how that control takes place, do some research. There's great, great information out there. You just have to find it and what resonates with you and run with it. As long as your partner's on board, fucking run with it. It's fantastic. Okay, so some different things that regarding money, that doesn't really go with who controls it. But there's different things you can do regarding money. If your submissive doesn't do something that they're supposed to do, you can have a jar. It's like a fine jar or a naughty jar If they were naughty and you choose to make them pay monetarily. Have a jar, have rules. You do this, it's five bucks, you do this, it's 10 bucks, or in some cases you can make them pay for an orgasm. I personally find that very gratifying and quite expensive for my subbie. You could also allow payment for good behavior, so if your submissive is a good boy or girl, whatever the case may be they could also be rewarded monetarily. Let's see so some different things that I came across in my research for how money is controlled in a female led relationship or even just a dom sub relationship, however it works. I will give you some types that I found, and then I will also kind of go over how we do it in our house. So, first off, you want to decide who's going to control the money Again, a discussion that probably needs to be had. And there's also things where controlling the money. If one of the people is self-employed, that can make controlling the money a little bit hard, because sometimes you don't know when the money's coming in. I may personally experience that occasionally. Okay, so there's three, maybe four, different types I guess it depends on how you want to label these of ways that the money can be controlled, so the man can actually control it, or the man is capable of controlling it because the woman wants it that way. Now the genders there aren't specific. So the submissive could control the money because that's what the dominant wants. So the submissive could control the money because that's what the dominant wants. Maybe the dominant person in the relationship doesn't want to control the money, so the dominant requires the submissive to take goes into the dominant's account and the dominant has full control of all of the money. However, the dominant requires the submissive needs to come to the dominant and say this bill is due here, or this bill is due here, here's how much it is, and the dominant may have to approve it and say, yep, okay, that's acceptable, here's the money to pay it. Whatever the case may be, there's so many different ways you can do this. You just want to make sure whatever you do, it's what you're comfortable with, what you're comfortable with. You could go as far as everything being in the dominance name Vehicles, house, bank accounts everything is in the dominance name. The submissive has no assets whatsoever. Everything is in the dominance name. The submissive literally has no assets or nothing no vehicle, no house, no loans, no credit cards. No, nothing, nothing is in the submissive's name, nothing. It's all in the dominant's name or her name. If you're in a female-led relationship or however it works, I don't want to offend anybody by assuming that every relationship is a man and a woman, because it sure as fuck isn't and it sure as fuck doesn't have to be. You could even go as far as doing powers of attorney. Now, powers of attorney are good things to have in general in case something happens and you are not able to make decisions for yourself. But there's also a spin on it where the submissive signs over, or the submissive signs a power of attorney to the dominant, and the dominant literally controls everything, makes choices completely for the submissive. When doing a power of attorney and that is the intent for using it there are legal things you need to be concerned about or you need to make sure you have your ducks in a row. Every state is different. You want to make sure that if something sadly was to happen to your submissive or to you, that the estate will be taken care of appropriately or correctly or that you're getting all the benefits, etc. So if it's something where you're going to go as far as a power of attorney that would be active prior to something terrible happening or becoming unable to make your own decisions. I would maybe suggest legal counsel or make sure you do your research so that if, in the event, something terrible does happen which hopefully it doesn't, but if it should, that your other half is taken care of in the ways that they should be, if that makes sense. Now, in all of these, I have a real issue with trust. Not with my husband at all, but I have a record of getting fucked over by people quite frequently, so my trust level is real low with people in the world. Most of the time. This is entirely your decision on how your relationship works. However, it's always good for the submissive if the dominant is in full control, has a power of attorney, everything like that that needs to be discussed. If something should go sour in the relationship, if they should split up, whatever the case may be, maybe a plan B is a good thing to have Now. Nobody wants to think about not being with their other person forever, but sometimes you just have to be real and you want to make sure you're not going to get fucked hard. I mean most of the time. That's fantastic, but you don't want to be living on the streets because something happened with your relationship. You broke up and the dominant took everything. You have nothing, not a pot to piss in, probably no credit, because you've had nothing in your name for years. If that's the case, it's just better to be safe than sorry. So how the dynamic works in our relationship is I control all of the money. However, the money goes into a joint bank account. We both have access to the account. Before anything is purchased, I need to be consulted. He knows that. He needs to get a hold of me and ask me. It's even to the point where, if he's going to go to the store and buy a soda, he texts me and says hey, can I stop and get something to sip on? Hey, can I stop and get something to snack on? Now we have an agreement that if I don't answer within a couple minutes because generally he texts me when he's on his way to the gas station or from one job to the other, when he's on his way to the gas station or from one job to the other that it's generally okay. He's aware of what's in our bank account. He's aware of what we should be spending, what we shouldn't be spending things like that because that's how I choose to have it at this point in time. That can be changed at any time. Where we are right now in our relationship, I control the money, but it's in a joint bank account. We have an agreement. He has to check in with me before purchasing anything. Now, if he's going to purchase something that is of significant value or costs more than a certain amount, that's obviously a discussion we maybe have in person and it's not something that he just will text me and be like hey, I want to buy a new car. You know things like. Text me and be like hey, I want to buy a new car. You know things like that. Or even smaller, hey, I want to buy a new TV, whatever the case may be. So there's also the allowance portion of this. There's many ways you can do the allowance. Both the submissive and the dominant can both have set allowances. Obviously, the dominance will probably be more than the submissives. You can have it. So only the submissive has an allowance and the dominant has all the rest of the money to herself. Obviously, monthly bills need to be taken care of things to survive. There could be no allowance at all. You could just say hey, listen, I'm in control, you don't get shit without my permission. On the allowance aspect, you can change the amount of their allowance by their behavior. So this could replace the naughty jar. If that's the route you're going, you could have instead of them. If they misbehave or do something they're not supposed to, whatever the case may be, you can, instead of having them put five or ten or twenty dollars in the jar, you could say oh well, you just lost five dollars of your allowance. Oh, you just lost ten dollars of your allowance. That's a way you could do it. You could still do payment for good behavior. You could increase their allowance. If they've been a super good boy, you could increase it Overall, in our relationship, everything is mine as I like it. However, at the stage we're at right now, we discuss things. I have the ultimate say, but we discuss things. We discuss purchases. Hey, there's this credit card. We have a little bit of extra cash here. Do you want to just pay that off? So things like that we discuss. However, everything we own is in my name. All of our vehicles, any credit cards we have, anything like that. Everything is in my name. It may not be that way forever, but that's the way it is now and that's the way it'll stay. Right now, the biggest struggle I think we have is that he's self-employed and right now I'm only doing voiceover, my podcast, things like that. So the real inconsistency right now is he is in a construction type field and, with everything that's been going on, it is very hard to determine what the next week is going to be like. This is not something that he is going to do forever. He hates his job, but his job pays well when it pays. That's the issue we're running into with everything that's going on with COVID or whatever, just whatever. The strange world we live in right now. We never know what's coming for work. We don't know if the work he gets, if they're going to pay. He works for one place. That is fantastic. They pay regularly, they pay well. He works for one place that is fantastic, they pay regularly, they pay well. But right now they don't have a ton of work. There's a real ebb and flow with being self-employed. I will say, if there is anybody listening to this, that is in a female-led relationship or a dominant-submissive relationship and they are the dominant and they control the money and their submissive is self-employed. I'd be very interested in your take on how you manage and the different things you do to go with the ebb and flow, if there even is an ebb and flow. There's people that are self-employed, that are making money, hand over fist and get paid all the time In the industry my husband's in. It's just not always the case, so I would love some feedback on that if anybody is interested in sharing, and if not, that's okay too. So recap real quick you can be in a dominant-submissive relationship and the dominant wants the submissive to control everything. Perfect, you could do kind of how we do the dominant has the final say of everything, but the submissive takes care of paying the bills or managing the money or whatever the case may be. Because listen, not fucking everybody is good at managing money. If there's one thing they should teach in schools to kids right now, it's how to fucking manage money and be financially smart with your money. If I would have known what I know now when I was starting to work, when I was like 15, I'd be a fucking millionaire right now. I am not Okay. So back on topic. The final one is dominant controls everything. Everything is in her name. There's power of attorneys in place. Whatever the case may be, there's lots of options out there and different things that you can do. You just have to go with whatever fits with your relationship and whatever makes everybody comfortable, and the submissive doesn't necessarily need to be comfortable. I like when my subbie is a little uncomfortable across the board. So just some ideas for you guys to think about or ponder on. Or, if anybody wants to give me feedback on how they work in their relationship, if there's something that you do that wasn't on here that people maybe would be interested.