EP: 0111 - Female Led Relationships - It's a REAL Balancing Act

Show Notes

We love to share OUR experience as parents managing a household while embracing a Female-Led Relationship (FLR) which adds a unique perspective to our discussions. We share personal stories, challenges, and victories, all while trying just to keep afloat week after week.

EIn this episode, I talk about the tumultuous balance of parenting, professional commitments, and self-care. I reflect on a hectic week filled with homeschooling challenges, significant voice work orders, and personal growth. You are invited to join a discussion on financial control in Female-Led Relationships, offering a deep dive into this intriguing lifestyle dynamic.

This episode is essential for those interested in understanding the complexities of managing life amidst chaos, particularly within the context of a Female-Led Relationship. You will gain insights into the importance of self-care, the challenges of virtual schooling, and the dynamics of financial control in relationships. 

Listener Questions:
1. How do I manage multiple responsibilities like homeschooling and work without losing balance?
2. What are the dynamics of financial control in a Female-Led Relationship?
3. How can I incorporate self-care into a hectic schedule effectively?

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Transcript

Kristine Kellogg: 0:50

Man, my brain is a fucking hot mess right now. This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you're not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. Hey, everyone, welcome back to episode 11. Let's address some housekeeping issues first. I will warn you right now that I am the conductor of the Hot Mess Express this week. Fucking choo-choo, not even kidding. I apologize now. If I am all over the map in this episode, bear with me, it'll probably be a good laugh. So here we go. First off, you guys fucking rock. 6,000 downloads, holy shit. I don't even know how to say thank you enough. When I started this, like two months ago, I really didn't think anybody would really care what I had to say. And here you guys, all are, all you guys downloading and listening to me. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I appreciate you. You guys rock. I also want to give a shout out to my Patreon supporters and my new OnlyFans followers. You guys also rock and I greatly appreciate you. This show does cost, or this podcast, whatever you want to call it. This gig isn't free. It costs a little bit to put it up. I mean it's not huge, but it's not free and I really appreciate everyone's support. You guys are awesome. Sincerely thank you. Next, housekeeping issue, whatever you want to call it. I would be real curious what you folks have to say about last week's episode. I would love some feedback. I am trying to figure out how often I would like to incorporate my subbie in my episodes. I absolutely love having him on here with me. It's so much easier to have someone with you to talk to as opposed to talking to yourself in a small room, which almost seems a little creepy. Sometimes I mean it's fine, I'll do it because I like it, but sometimes it's nice to have somebody to talk to. So I'm just curious if you guys could leave me some feedback and let me know what you think about him being on here with me and the things that we've discussed the last couple times he's been on with me. I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much and finally, if anyone is still interested, I don't know, the TikTok tsunami has slowed down significantly. A huge thank you to my 800 followers, if any of you are listening. I appreciate you. Let's just get real for a minute because, as I've mentioned, I've been a hot mess this week. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about real life in an FLR relationship. About that. Let's talk about real life in an FLR relationship. Yes, I'm in an FLR relationship and I'm a human being, and this week reminded me of that Hardcore Human being, full human being, I think. Sometimes I feel like I'm invincible and I can do anything I want and I can, but invincible and I can do anything I want and I can, but I need to have some downtime, some self-care, which is a word that has been thrown around a shit ton lately, but I think it's a legitimate thing, and I learned a hard lesson about not giving yourself self-care or allowing yourself time for self-care. It's important people Fucking do it. So my week oh, I just got a shooting pain behind my left eye just thinking about last week Holy shit, I had three huge Fiverr orders due. I have three kids at home doing homeschool or virtual learning, whatever the hell it's called. And I had a house to run, I had meals to make. I had, you know, because my husband is working and I want to make sure when he comes home he has a nice meal in his stomach before he, you know, gives me a 20 minute foot massage. So I mean it all circles back to me. And on the note of self-care, I mean, if you have a subbie, make him rub your feet. It's excellent self-care, it's fucking fantastic. So, on top of everything that I have going on school, my five orders, life content to put up running kids to sports, things like that, everything what do I do? Oh, it's probably a good time to, you know, bake some homemade muffins and from scratch pancakes, and oh, we should do some chocolate chip cookies too. I don't know if shark week is coming or what the hell's going on, but I clearly had a craving for fucking fatty foods and high fructose corn syrup. So that's what I did, not all week, because, holy shit. But I have a real. I have a real issue. If you guys haven't noticed, I'm quite sure that I have ADD to some extent somewhere. I fuck, I don't know. I mean, my youngest kid has ADHD hardcore. Clearly it came from somewhere. I don't think his dad has it, so it's probably me. Some days I am all over the map, and this week was one of those weeks. Now I'm learning different techniques and different methods to try and rein that in a little bit, but my brain this week just decided guess what bitch, we ain't going to focus on fucking shit for you. Sorry about it, move on. I first of all again you guys. This is going to be fucking all over the map, real sorry. I have to say fucking a huge thank you to teachers, holy shit, especially this year. Your job has been fucking insane and I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate you. I don't know how many teachers are listening to my podcast, but if you are, you're fucking awesome. I appreciate you and be sure to take some time for self-care, because this has been a rough year for you guys, especially so, as I stated, my three children are being schooled at home or they're doing virtual learning, and the two older ones are high schoolers. They're juniors in high school, so they're pretty self-sufficient once they get their asses out of bed, but my youngest a fifth grader. Yeah, whoops, big gap, surprise, my fifth grader cannot sit, still cannot focus, argues with me about everything, everything, and this last week has been especially challenging with him and I get his frustration. I do not understand who came up with the idea to teach kids math the way they teach them. Now, I'm not blaming teachers, because their curriculum is decided for them, but whoever decided to teach kids math this way or design this curriculum? I think there was a bottle or seven of wine involved. I understand that it simplifies things for kids, but it takes a hundred times longer and maybe once he gets the hang of it it will go much faster. And maybe it's only my kid that is struggling with it. I don't know. He's wicked smart. He just cannot sit still long enough to focus and it doesn't interest him. He doesn't want any part of it and I personally don't want any part of arguing with him to make him do it. But I'm a mom, it's my job. If only he would listen to me, like my husband listens to me, my life wouldn't be so much easier. So this last week was rough for both of us, mentally draining. I know more about fifth grade math and how they teach it now than I ever needed to, much less wanted to. I was not a big math fan in high school, not at all. The girls, they do pretty good. The high schoolers, like I said, you just got to get their asses out of their beds, which, again, if that's my biggest battle with teenagers, I'll take it. Mine's been a little unruly lately, like a little bit of the end of the week struggles have been thanks to her, but overall our kids are very good kids. I don't know if it was the full moon, I don't know if there is just hella crazy energy in the air because of all the tension with election week or what, but man, school this week has been fucking hard emotionally, mentally, whatever. It's just sucked. And then to add to that, my Fiverr, which don't get me wrong, I am so appreciative and so thankful for the orders that I'm getting. I never expected I would be this busy this soon. I thought it was going to take me a while, much like the podcast, build up a following, whatever. But apparently people really like my voice and it's just mind blowing to me. My kids don't like it. They don't like to listen to me ever Maybe not ever, but so for Fiverr, I had a erotic book that I was doing. I had a custom script that was 45 minutes of audio and video and then I had another custom offer that was, I don't know, probably 10 to 15 minutes of audio and that's not. That's not a ton. I did a few in between that were just short to you know, quick things in between and but you had to consider the time that goes into responding to all the messages that come before the ordering and the questions. And it almost felt like this last week when it comes to Fiverr, time was on fast forward, like there was not enough time to give everybody the attention that they needed to make sure that they were giving me. You know, I want to make sure I have the right directions, or I want to make sure communication is good, because you're paying me for a service and I want you to be happy with the finished product, so I need as many details as possible. So it's exactly what you want. I don't want somebody to pay me for something and then get it and be like, well, that blew ass, that was a waste of money. That's not my goal. My goal is to have people love what they get and come back, come back again, order something else and the customers on Fiverr and making sure that the erotic book sounded right and doing some extra promo stuff for it. Again, I'm not whining. I'm so thankful for this opportunity and, honestly, I'm mind blown at where I'm at right now, because a year ago I didn't even really know voiceover existed and never would have imagined that I'd be doing a podcast. I mean, I don't hate the sound of my own voice, but it's just interesting to me how much people enjoy hearing me read things and I love it. I mean, I'll read anything you want. Just send me a message, let's do it. It's just this last week it was quite overwhelming and I was overthinking, because that's what I do. I'm an overthinker. I overthink everything in my life. I'm getting better. However, sometimes I'm a bit of a perfectionist and overthink it and I'll read the same line six fucking times and then go back and use the one that I read the first fucking time, which is real frustrating for myself. I need to be less hard on myself and I'm learning. I will get there. I'm a work in progress Always will be. Oh, and did I mention? Our high school girls play volleyball and they have practice five days a week. One of them has a job in a nearby town. Neither of them have a driver's license, which is fine, I don't care. But it seemed like just this last week. Every time I would get sat down and in a groove and on a train of thought to actually finish something. Somebody needed to go to practice, somebody needed to go to work, somebody needed to run here quick, we needed to run here quick, we needed to run here quick. Or I needed to go get groceries because you know, I probably should bake some more fucking muffins and cookies. Right, just real frustrating for me. I'm really not trying to whine because I'm very grateful for the opportunities that I have. Anything away from this no matter who you are or how together you may seem, or how together somebody else may seem in your eyes, everybody has a bad fucking day or fucking week. In my case and in our relationship, in this female-led relationship, I'm lucky because my husband knows me well enough. He knows me almost better than I know myself. He kind of adjusts to my mood roller coasters when weeks like this happen. They don't always happen, but every now and then. I'm a woman and I'm emotional and I have many hormone changes. He adjusts very well and he goes with the flow. But if there's anything that I can say about anyone in an FLR, anyone thinking about entering into an FLR, you have to one allow yourself bad weeks, bad days, whatever. It's not and I know we've said this, both I and my husband have said this before in the past it's not a role play, it's not a game, it's our way of life. So it's going to ebb and flow and you want to make sure that everybody's on the same page. And that's where I'm lucky. Most of the time my husband recognizes something like this is coming before I even know he's very in tune with me and I hope I am with him as well. But I mean he knows me very well. He knows what's happening most of the time before I do, which is very scary if you really think about it. But I'm very lucky because he knows when I need a. I just need a break. We still I mean he's still wearing his cock cage that doesn't come off just because I'm having a bad week. I mean it might hurt a little bit because if I'm having a bad week might want to kick him in the balls here or there. I mean it's a good stress reliever. Self-care for me there, I mean, it's a good stress reliever Self-care for me but he's very attentive, he steps up his game. He is very good at offering tips in a way that doesn't come off as like condescending or arrogant or like listen, you need to do this. I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how to explain it. I'm just very lucky, because when I have a week like this, or a day God, a week has been a long time he's very good at helping where he needs to help. Now, on that same note, his last week has been kind of a hot mess express as well. He's self-employed and work is slow right now. I mean, you know it ebbs and flows, but it seems like it's slowing down a little bit more this winter than it normally does, and he's been working and doing the job that people are asking him to do. However, people are deciding not to pay him. So that's fun, that's the joy of being self-employed. We're okay right now, but if people continually don't pay him, it causes problems, as it would. I mean, you need money to survive. Now, obviously, I make money on the work that I'm doing, but he makes more and we depend on his more. So overall, it's just been a hot mess of a week. I'm quite glad that it's over, or almost over, because I'm mentally exhausted Like the entire weekend. I just want to sleep all day, but I have kids. It's not going to happen. What was I thinking? So just a recap of my week. School was hell with my children, mostly my youngest. Work was busy and it seemed like every time I tried to accomplish something there was a time suck or somebody needed a ride somewhere, or I had the urge to bake cookies or muffins or pancakes. I own my responsibility in that. I think my whole point to this whole episode really, as I rambled and rambled and rambled and hope you all listened to the end, maybe you won't. Sorry, everybody has a bad day or week. Don't be too hard on yourself. You have to take time for yourself for self-care. Take time for yourself for self-care. You need to have time to clear your mind and try as hard as you can to focus on the positive. It's real easy to get sucked into negative and hopefully things clear up. They just work themselves out. But I'm going to go out on a positive note. But I'm going to go out on a positive note. I'm alive, I'm healthy, I have a fantastic husband who does anything I tell him to and wears a cock cage. My life is good. I'm thankful for all of my followers, all of my listeners, all of my supporters. You guys are what keeps me going and I appreciate you all. Again, a huge shout out to teachers. I really appreciate you. Your job is hard, real hard. I hope everybody has a fantastic weekend and next week we will be back on track answering the question in an FLR relationship, who controls the money and how do they go about it? What's your dynamic for controlling money in your FLR relationship? Hope you guys all come back next week. I promise I'll be off the hot mess express Choo-choo. Hey, we come in.