0106 Female Led Relationships: Exploring Real-Life Dom-Sub Dynamics

Back to the nuanced world of dominance and submission (Dom/sub) dynamics. With a genuine interest and personal experience in alternative relationship structures, I'm passionate about sharing insights from my own life as a Dominant Female, married to a submissive male within a female-led relationship.

We bring a our base of knowledge on balancing non-traditional relationship dynamics with everyday family life, drawing from years of living authentically despite societal norms. Our journey includes navigating the delicate interplay of power, trust, and communication in a way that is both empowering and enlightening for their audience.

In this episode, we take you on a captivating journey into the realities of D/s living. We provide a transparent look at how these dynamics play out beyond the realm of fantasy, particularly within the context of a family. The discussion covers how mutual respect and teamwork are essential in maintaining harmony in our household. 

The episode further explores the foundational aspects of trust and communication in female-led relationships, while also addressing societal perceptions. Listeners are treated to personal anecdotes, including a humorous yet insightful story about navigating airport security while practicing chastity.

For those intrigued by real-life dom-sub dynamics, this episode offers a wealth of information and personal stories that illustrate the complexities and joys of such relationships. Keywords like "dominance and submission," "female-led relationship," and "chastity in BDSM" are deeply explored, providing a rich source of content for anyone researching these topics. Listeners interested in alternative lifestyles will gain a bett

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Transcript

0:51

Do you want me to do a little bit of this? You're one lucky son of a bitch, huh? You gonna leave that in there? This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. If you're not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers, or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. Thanks for coming back for a listen to episode six. How exciting. Right? You made it to six. Right? So we're on location. Oh, we. I have my subbie here, my husband. He would be the male voice speaking with in this conversation. I'm the guy that does everything behind the scenes. She has a pretty voice. He's my bitch. Correct. So we're on location at our super secret sexy campground. Naked campground. But we're not naked. We're not. It's a little chilly to be naked where we are. Correct. Some people here are though, but not too many. Burr. One or two. I like clothes when it's cold. It's so much more about just being laid back here than. Very laid back. Yeah. Today, we're going to talk about our relationship. The Dom sub dynamic. We're also going to talk a little bit more about what it's like to be a real submissive male. Not the fantasy minded submissive male who isn't in a relationship like this and assumes that this type of relationship is being dragged around by your dick and. However, I am not opposed to this. No, but when there are children about. Yeah, we have a few of them. Yeah. That's kind of a no go. Yeah. So there's a reality part to all of this. It's kind of a how to be in a Dom sub relationship while living the vanilla lifestyle. Yes. What a great title. So let's start with us. Well, I mean, we're pretty awesome. I don't know that we're going to put that in there. What? So you brought everybody pretty much up to speed to where we are. Yes. Pretty much. I think you last left off with. So we last left off with talking about the social networking slash. Oh, that's right. You talked about fat. Right. Yep. And our munch experience. And before that, we talked about my little side action where. That's right. You got to hear a man fuck your wife. Correct. I got to hear sort of hearing. Yeah. We didn't really get to see. No, I didn't really get to hear either. I just looked at the ceiling while you were getting fucked. Sorry about your luck. Are you, though? No. So, yeah, you're kind of caught up to where we are. There's a few more stories, I'm sure, between then and now, but she runs the show. Mm hmm. And. Our dynamic is very simple. It's simplistic. It's what works for our lifestyle with the amount of children and people living in our home. Yes. However, it is very apparent who runs the show in our house. Actually, from the outside looking in, there may be a hint of what's going on underneath. And of course, there's joking, you know, but people think that we're choking, but we're not really joking. I provide protect all that stuff. Miss Christine is basically stay home mom. Some of it has to do with the covid situation right now, but you would be home otherwise because of your voiceover career. Correct. So that means that you don't leave the house, don't need to. And come Minnesota wintertime, that's going to be very nice. Yes, it is. We're very excited about that. So I do my normal eight to 10 to 12 hours, whatever that is, and come home. And from the typical understanding is I would I should come home and do all the cooking, all the cleaning, stuff like that. And that happens sometimes. But in the reality part of the relationship, you recognize that me coming home and doing that, all that stuff just kind of seems silly. So you take over and do the things when I'm not able to necessarily. Right. You're working 10, 12, sometimes 18 hour days. And I mean, the rest of the family needs to eat if you're not home late. But I always try to make sure that you have at least a hot meal. Your job is very labor intensive. I don't like you to come home and have to make yourself supper. Now, that being said, if he only works till say two or three, then there's no reason he can't cook supper. I'm not opposed to that. Yes. It's a team effort. Yeah, it is very much a team effort. And actually, we think that that's very important to show our kids as they're growing up that both of us are getting things done versus one doing something and the other just sitting around. Well, and I think too, our kids can see the amount of respect that you have for me. Respect is a big, big part of a dom-sub relationship or a female-led relationship. You have to be in the right mindset. You have to respect your partner. And our kids, I think, definitely pick up on the respect aspect of how you treat me. Right. There's always the joke that your balls are in my purse. That's fine. That's where they belong. It's kind of this situation. Anyways, I think even if you remove the dom-sub female relationship thing, female-led, I think that it's good to teach the kids that the woman should be respected anyways. I agree. And vice versa, the man respected as well. We're not waiting for the other one to leave the house and completely bad mouth. Do you suppose that leaf blower is going to show up on here? Probably. Do you want me to do a little bit of this? You're one lucky son of a bitch, huh? You're going to leave that in there? Mm-hmm. So we're talking about the kids. And the amount of respect that we have in our household. Before we're interrupted by the leaf blower next door. The blow job. So clearly, there is no me leading you around the house by a leash on your cock cage. There is no you're doing things for me naked. I'm not beating you on a daily with a flogger. However, again, not opposed. Ooh, acorn. Holy crap. That was really loud. You have to have some subtleties when you're practicing a dom-sub relationship in a vanilla lifestyle. That is the key word, subtleties. It can absolutely be done though. Yep. I think we're pretty good at it. I think that a lot of it has to do with how we show affection. Mm-hmm. A lot of it has to do with the unsaid. Mm-hmm. Nonverbal is what I want to say. Yeah. And there's things like that I want you to do, that I tell you to do. But generally, when the kids are around, it's not a stern do this. It's more of a, I tell you what I need. And then at the end, I will add a please just to show that. Now, if we didn't have kids around, it would probably be more of an order. Right. But you giving me foot massages and things like that is totally normal around our house. You're just not naked and on your hands and knees while you're doing it. Right. Someday. So that kind of bridges to what is it really like to be a submissive husband? In conversations on say, when we were on kick or when adult friend finder or SLS or whatever one we're on, in talking to other guys, it really seems like guys get themselves so whipped up about this type of relationship that they think that 24 seven, you know, things are being shoved in their ass or their balls are getting kicked or, you know. Now, don't get me wrong. He will be standing in the kitchen and I'll give him a little tap. Right. There is little subtle hints of that. Again, with the subtlety. Yeah. Right. It exists, but it's not the full on BDSM relationship 24 seven. Right. You know, from a porn hub. Yeah. Or whatever. Yeah. You know, it's you have to you have to balance some reality with what you want. So if you're a submissive husband, I think the very first thing you need to get your head wrapped around is being submissive to your wife or your girlfriend. You need to submit to them. So by submitting, I think one of the best and first things to do is to be in chastity. Well, I of course agree 100%. I think that you can't be submissive and be a chronic masturbator. I would agree with that. That's I mean, masturbation is a very selfish action. Wait, let me caveat that because you can masturbate when directed to. Yes. Which is fucking hot. Yes. So if your dominant wife enjoys watching you or feeling you masturbate and she tells you to do that, then by all means, it's a big fucking number one for me. Good. However, that is her decision to make, not yours. So when you are deciding to place priority or importance on your orgasm, you are now taking that priority and importance away from your dominant wife, your wife, your mistress, whatever you want to call her. You're replacing her with your selfish orgasm. That's pretty deep. Right? I agree. So when you're in chastity, you're in your little cock cage and she holds the key for that. You are completely submitting. You're giving so much control to her. You're also placing an amazing amount of trust in her, which I think is number one in a dom sub relationship. Trust, honesty, communication, communication. Yep. So that is a huge first step. I mean, if you really want to be a submissive husband, that is one of the very first big steps. Yep. Once you get past that step, then everything kind of falls into place. The nice thing about the chastity too, is you have the weight of the cage as a reminder. Oh yeah. Especially if you have a metal one, a heavier one, like eyewear. They do make the plastic ones and the rubber ones that just don't seem to have the... They're more of a novelty, it seems. Maybe for somebody who doesn't do it full time. Right. Which is fine. You don't have... You absolutely don't have to. Right. We choose to. And that's the choice that I've made to show her my level of my submission. And I wear the key around my neck. The kids think it's the key to his heart. With the exception of one of the friends who doesn't believe it. Yeah. That's funny. So once you cross that bridge of chastity and you're on the other side, like I was saying, things kind of fall into place. I naturally feel like doing things for you. You are my priority. As I should be. Every decision that I make, every action that I do revolves around, is this making you happy? That's the first question that I ask myself. Right. And on that same note, I noticed that you are much more observant of making sure that you... If he's at work and he wants to stop and get a soda, he will text me and say, is it okay if I stop and get a soda? And I've noticed that when the cage is on, you do that pretty much all the time, whether the cage is on or not. Because I'm in that state of mind now. But it is much more... It's heightened, maybe? It's heightened. It's more of a routine for you. Not maybe a routine. It's more in your mind, up front and center that, hey, I want to get a soda. I'm going to text her and see if it's okay if I get one. So that's one thing too, is if you're going to participate in a relationship like this, communication is key. You have to sit down and discuss what you both want, because not everybody is like us. Not everybody has to be or wants to be in chastity. General consensus, when we talk to people about our relationship, that chastity is a hard no for the men. And chastity being a hard no for a supposed submissive male is really hard for me to wrap my head around. Well, and I do think though maybe it has something to do with it being, if it's somebody new to the whole DomSub thing, maybe it's something that they work into. I mean, we didn't kick off right from the start with the cock cage. However, it wasn't long. Right. As we were learning, we evolved and implemented things or whatever. I think that somebody that is new to this, like you're saying, chastity then is part of one of the things you learn about, just like we did. So if you are new to this whole thing, welcome aboard. Right. It's fucking fantastic. And please don't take it as I'm being a dick and talking down to people about what their choices are one way or the other. I'm just saying for me, it's hard to wrap my head around being a submissive male to your wife slash girlfriend, boyfriend, honestly, whatever it is. If you are truly submissive, then you have to submit. And I think that a key part of that is chastity because submission is no longer about your desires. Right. You know, your your dominant will take care of you. Your dominant will make sure that you're happy on whatever level he she feels, you know, works for you. Well, and it's all it's all a learning process. I mean, we've had so many fuck ups along the way or things that we're like, yeah, we do not like that. We're not doing that. Or hey, let's give that a try. Right. We are the least judgmental people. Right. We're not saying this is how it has to be to be successful. We're just telling you what we have found to be successful for us. Right. And it's not for everybody by any means. Right. The cock cage is fucking fantastic. I love it. I do, too. But it doesn't have to be that way. You have to figure out what works best for you and your partner. Right. We're just here to tell you what we like and we're here to tell you what we've experienced. And I mean, fuck, if you have questions, reach out. I am happy. For sure. To answer what I can. For sure. Either one of us. I'd love to answer questions. So I wasn't trying to be a dick. I really apologize if I sounded like a dick. I didn't think you sound like a dick. OK. I'd kick in. I just think it's important. I totally see that aspect because you are very attentive normally, but you are much more attentive with that cage on. It is much more front and center in your brain when you have that weight on your cock. Plus, all of that aside, right. Think of how exciting or dangerous it is for guys, you to be in your cage and women, you to be wearing your key around family events, vanilla friends, church. Yeah. Whatever it is, you are carrying your relationship 24-7 to all of these places, basically wide out in the open. You have to be careful for metal detectors. That could be another episode, actually. Oh, shit. I'd love to tell that story. Well, that and the wild game. Yes. Those are two stories in one. Let me rephrase that. That and the night of our wedding. Right. The other thing about this is that not everybody needs to know your business. Correct. You know, there are people that you can talk openly with and then there are people that just don't need to know. Well, and the whole there's a whole spin to that, too. I have a lot of friends from my hometown that don't know. And I'm to a point now where I do for a living and I live my life the way I want to live my life. And you have liked me this long and I have been living this way for six years. So if you find out about it and you choose to not like me anymore, that's on you. And I'm really sorry about it. But I mean, you have to prepare yourself and be in a mental state of mind of this is OK. It's not don't ever let anybody make you feel bad for what you're doing. It's your life, your choices, your partner, your partner's choices. Right. This has nothing to do with anybody else. Don't ever feel guilty because you choose to live this lifestyle. And to be honest, this lifestyle between my husband and I, we have the best relationship I've ever had in my entire life. The most honesty, the most trust. He is literally my best friend. I can tell him anything. And how many other married couples can say that? Because I know there's a lot that there is so many things that I have said to you and will say to you that in previous relationships I would have never felt comfortable or confident or safe to say or ask. I can come to you with absolutely anything. And I think that's how it should be in America. And it just so happens that we have a dom sub female led relationship. Right. And, you know, my hometown friends, if they don't like it, I'm sorry, I'm happy. And this is how I choose to live my life. It's funny, though, because I think that they kind of assume it anyways. Oh, I'm sure. Because they see how I act and how I treat you when we are around them. And it's kind of nice to be able to be to be that role or be that that man for you around them and show them, um, honestly, show them what a relationship could be like, you know, how important the woman could be and how unimportant the man could be in the man's eyes. Yep. And this doesn't necessarily have to be where the female is the dom either. In most cases, the man is. Right. Well, a lot of times I shouldn't say in most cases, but I mean, there is absolutely instances where the woman chooses to be the submissive. Right. And it's still the same dynamic. I think there's still trust, honesty and communication. Absolutely. I mean, it's honestly a very healthy relationship. Yep. It can be as long as you have those foundations, as long as you have that trust, that communication, that honesty, that when you hand your power over that it's not abused, you know, um, I, I'm, I'm well aware of some dom sub relationships that are not right. You know, they're just mean. Yeah. And that's not love. No. At all. That's, that may be fantasy for a weekend or something. Yeah. But that's not relationship material. And you can't be like that 24 seven, there has to be some downtime. You have to have some time where, you know, your submissive gets some time off and can have some, just some personal time. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I mean, the other thing too, is like you were saying, um, we're not, we're not this way 24. I mean, we are this way 24 seven, but there are moments where you ask me for my help. You lean on me for support. You, you vent to me just to vent, or you, you, you know, get my opinion on things, ask me to help with things or whatever. That doesn't make you a submissive by any means. No. It, it means that you know that you can lean on me for these situations. Right. He absolutely has strengths that I don't have. And I rely on that pretty significantly for some things, you know, you handle, you handle the, the work aspect for the voiceover stuff and all of that. And I help when I can, but a lot of that falls on your shoulders because that's your area of strength. Right. I'm learning, but there has to be some give and take. I mean, there's, there's a lot of normalcies about if whatever you consider normal in our relationship, I mean, we have regular day-to-day things. I handle certain things. You handle certain things. It's just the roles we assume. And that's where the communication also comes into play because you have to communicate, you know, Hey, listen, this is what I'm going to take care of. This is what you can take care of. Or, you know, you each volunteer for a certain part. I mean, it takes a lot to make a household run smoothly, especially with kids and, you know, other people living with you and things like that. Exactly. And that's part of maintaining the whole vanilla side of it too. Yeah. We're a fucking fantastic team. Oh, we are. I mean, things would literally, would literally fall apart if we didn't have the communication that we have. We adapt to change like nobody I've ever met because shit changes all the time. You know, Monday morning you could start out with one frame of mind. Monday at noon, it's completely different. You know, we really have to be fluent. Right. We just have to be able there. You just have to go with the flow of things. Right. We, during the camping season, we typically come up to our little oasis up here and you know, that's on our mind from Monday morning on and we get to Friday and some parameter has changed. Some somebody's made a decision that doesn't fall in line with what we and we just, we just have to adapt. We just rearrange. Right. But we do that well because we are, we are a good team, you know? So I think an overview of everything. She just happens to like to kick me in the nuts. I do a little bit. I also like it with some nice high heel shoes on. Yes. Overall. But we digress. But we digress. Overview. To be in a dom sub relationship, you need to have trust communication. Honesty. Honesty is a big one. Yep. Yep. And I know we keep saying that, but if that's the one thing you get out of this whole podcast, that's the most important is those three factors. Completely agree. And you'll be amazed at how much closer you feel with your partner. Absolutely. It's insane. Both sides for sure. Correct. And I think everybody has this misconception that submissive people are weak and that is not the case at all. The submissive is actually probably the stronger of the two. Sometimes, yeah. Because they are submitting everything. They are the ones that, you know, if it is where there's a play situation or just in general where there is, you know, flogging or nut kicking or whatever it is, and the responsibilities are, you know, like in your case, you're working to provide for the family and then, I mean, you just really have to take a step back and look at it from both roles. I think you need to make sure you appreciate your submissive. I mean, you have to take care of them. You have to show that you, you know, that you're going to take care of them. Right. And the submissive can rest well in the fact that the dominant will take care of them. It's, that's part of the give and take. I think a little hidden tidbit too about a dumb subrelationship is deep down, the submissive is pretty much in control because they're choosing to be submissive. That's what I've heard. Yes. I haven't fully grasped that concept yet. Yeah. However, I can see where that would ring true. Yeah. I mean, you don't really control what I do. I do what I want. Yep. But I think there is a certain amount of control that you have being the submissive in our relationship because you're choosing to be submissive to me. Right. Which essentially the control's in your court. Right. If we decided to, you know, I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. Right. And there's a whole, you know, safe word thing about that too. Oh yeah. Everybody should have a safe word. I think I said that in the last episode too. Yeah. Safe word is crucial. Yep. No, the safe word isn't crucial. The safe word is cease. Our safe word is cease. Yeah. But it is crucial to have a safe word. Right. Is there anything else? I don't know. I think we talked about, we touched on a lot, I think. And I think we can maybe have conversations in the future. If that was good enough for this. We might bring you back. We'll see. Okay. What are you going to talk about next week? Well, we're coming into October. Oh yes, that will be. So we'll be talking about that probably. I'm sorry, you'll be talking about that. Yes. It won't be we because I don't have a turd in my pocket. No, but you may have a guest. I may. I don't. We'll have to see. We're working on a guest for you. That's exciting. It may not be next week. It may be the following week. Right. Next week, I think. Next week we should talk about chastity. And it will be very similar to the dumb sub portion of it. However, we're going to go a little bit more in depth about chastity, what it means and safety measures. And we'll probably cover the metal detector. Yeah. Or even just TSA. Or even just TSA in general. Yeah. That's a good story. Yeah, it is a good story. Well, thank you for having me. Thanks for being on my podcast. You're the best ever. I know.