00:01 - Judy (Guest)
So I just got a picture. I don't know, christina, I got a picture to whack them all when you were saying like, dump it on her and see what happens. It's like no, keep popping up, whack, keep popping up, can't keep it down.
00:12 - Krystine (Host)
That's a great exact. That's exactly how I felt. It's really like I would kind of grasp one thing and then it would be wham. Here's another one.
00:24 - Intro VO (Announcement)
This podcast is intended for mature audiences only If you are not 18 years of age or older. There are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors, lawyers or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle and I love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. Welcome back. What's it been? Six years.
00:53 - Krystine (Host)
Oh hey, my sub is here. Yeah, that's right. It's our podcast, that's right. I'm not the only one here either. No, so we have the famous Judy and.
01:03 - Bryan (Host)
Steve with us today and we'll get into an introduction for them. But first let's do a little housekeeping.
01:09 - Krystine (Host)
Yep, oh, that's great. I'm going to do a little housekeeping. I'm going to do a little housekeeping, but first let's do a little housekeeping. Housekeeping we're alive. That's the biggest one. Yeah, because many people don't know what's the first issue of housekeeping is. Are we just doing? Oh, the ladies group meeting January 11th At seven central time. That link will be in my Patreon. If you're interested in joining, hit me up there. The link will be there.
01:46 - Bryan (Host)
Even though we're not even in central time anymore. We're kind of going by that, I guess.
01:49 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, I guess we're not Listen.
01:51 - Bryan (Host)
We're not really sure what time we're in. To be honest, no.
01:53 - Krystine (Host)
And I struggle with time zones. So here we are.
01:58 - Judy (Guest)
Don't go changing time zones on me.
02:01 - Krystine (Host)
No, I have your guys' time zone on my phone so that I know what time it is where you are, so that when you say this time in your time zone.
02:09
I can look at that clock and say, okay, this is what time it is in ours. Time zones are a real struggle at much like directions. We are also planning, with Judy and Steve, a get together in Las Vegas for five couples. Total is what I'm looking at right now. It will be May 16th through the 19th 2024. We are looking at renting an Airbnb off the strip of Las Vegas for four days and if you're interested, send me an email. I am going to look at getting something reserved by the first of the year. So if you are dead set or sure that you can make it, reach out. We are looking at a deposit amount and all of those. I will post those details on my Patreon and as it gets closer, I will probably also post on social media about it.
03:04 - Bryan (Host)
Yeah, it would probably be helpful if the couple that is thinking coming is part of the Patreon also, even at the lowest tier or whatever, so that we have that.
03:12 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, that's probably a better place. Yeah, probably a better, everyone's kind of in one place.
03:16
Yeah, yeah. So the details will be posted on my Patreon. We'll get the rest out. We have two couple spots left. So there's two spots left for two couples. If you're interested, you can leave a message on Patreon. New venture for FUNZIES it's called Subby School. It will be on my only fans. December will be free. There'll be 20 audios dropped every month in between three to five minutes that are just a short segment on tips and tricks for being a better Subby and just affirmations and things that will help you succeed at being a better submissive. These are geared more towards men because I am doing this from a female-led relationship perspective, so if you want to see what it's about, it will be on my only fans for free in December and starting January 1, it will be subscription only.
04:15 - Bryan (Host)
It's a really cheap masterclass, to be honest.
04:17 - Krystine (Host)
Yep, it will be audio only also let's get the other half of the podcast owners here. So Judy and Steve have been here almost since the damn beginning. They're OG and we had a fantastic interview recorded with Two Visit Us and well, somebody in San Francisco got it when they took our stuff.
04:37 - Bryan (Host)
Good content they got.
04:38 - Krystine (Host)
I hope they listened.
04:39 - Bryan (Host)
I hope they got the great content.
04:42 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, they need a good ass weapon. But so here we are for Take Two, and this one will make it because this one's recorded in the clouds, so ain't no one gonna steal that. Yeah, so fuck off fuckers. So Judy and Steve practice full-time chastity and we are going to talk to them about their journey, how they got to where they are.
05:09 - Bryan (Host)
I do have an email question for the boys Judy and Steve.
05:13 - Krystine (Host)
tell us a little bit about yourself.
05:15 - Judy (Guest)
We have been together for 40 years. We met in college and we've been married for over 30. We have been practicing chastity on and on now, but it started 10, 15, 20 years ago.
05:35 - Intro VO (Announcement)
20 years ago.
05:37 - Judy (Guest)
I'm not good with math and it's been full-time for.
05:43 - Steve (Guest)
Three or four.
05:43 - Judy (Guest)
Yeah.
05:44 - Steve (Guest)
Three or four, three or four years.
05:47 - Judy (Guest)
We've gone through numerous iterations of chastity devices and times that it works well and times that it works less well.
05:56 - Steve (Guest)
I think what's important to understand is that our relationship was vanilla for a long time.
06:06
And a long time ago, even though I was very kinky and Judy knew I was kinky, that I stuffed that kinkiness away for a long time and said you know that my relationship is really worth more than fabulous sex or that kind of instant yeah, so that was more important.
06:31
And we raised children and all of that other thing, and eventually I got old enough and comfortable enough with myself to actually bring it forward and say look, this is something I need to happen in my life and maybe we can work something out here. I would say the other thing that really brought it to the forefront is, as you get older and your relationship matures with your spouse, you have to continue to look for things that you can do together so that you do not grow apart. And at that particular point in time I proposed this to Judy and I said I can't think of a way to make sure that we grow together better than to take on some of this lifestyle and to make it our own, and that would really secure the bonds between us. And that was a very important point, and I think that's what caught Judy's attention the most was that we both wanted to be After 20 years. We didn't want to call it quits and everybody goes their own way. We wanted to have 20 years and then grow even closer as we continued.
07:37 - Krystine (Host)
Fantastic way to present that. You're taking out the kink side of it, really, and you're focusing more on the relationship side of it and the real reasons why people do this.
07:50 - Bryan (Host)
That was brilliant, yeah absolutely, and I love that you phrased it, made it your own, your version of what this whole thing is, and that's important, because I don't know that there's really one cookie cutter way of doing that.
08:06 - Krystine (Host)
Judy, how did you react? Came to you with that.
08:12 - Judy (Guest)
I was a little surprised. I grew up in suburbia, usa, and really didn't know anything about it. So let's just say he's a very patient man Up and down and, like you said, brian, make it your own, because I keep, and still, even to this day, when I get down on things, it's like I'm not doing it right, or where can I go to figure it out, or what's the right way, but there is no right way. It's the right way for us, the right way for you and the right way for whoever's in the relationship, and that's why I keep having to remind myself and I hear you, christine, your words. That helps.
08:58 - Steve (Guest)
For years. We read together. We read a lot of blog posts together. We read a lot of books together. I think maybe 15 years ago we bought uniquely Raika Orika Practical FLR. I mean, the list of books that we either read online or the blog post that we read were one way. But I think what really turned the corner for us and for Judy was having a pal who was in the same kind of relationship and that's kind of. When we discovered your blog One November, december, we'd been reading another blog and it referenced your very new podcast.
09:40
Right when you started, right when you started and we listened to that and I remember listening to a couple of episodes and Judy and I having we'd pause it and have a conversation and then we'd keep going. And you said so many of the things that I had said, but they were coming from you, so it made it a little easier for Judy to understand.
09:59 - Judy (Guest)
It wasn't coming from you, exactly it wasn't coming from me.
10:01 - Steve (Guest)
I needed to step away and let her make her own little path and develop it, and she needed a pal, she needed a buddy, she needed someone she could bounce some things off, to tell about the struggles Not just me, but someone who wasn't in the relationship who could have one and something more real, because what I always still struggle with is when you're reading stuff, it's like, yeah, who's writing that?
10:24 - Judy (Guest)
Yeah, is that real or is that just fantasy? So that, was helpful.
10:31 - Krystine (Host)
I say this all the time too. Like the Judy that I met in the beginning is so different from the Judy that is now Like it's just so. It's so cool to see and it really gives me faith in these relationships too, because it can be really overwhelming for the dominant as well as the submissive. But if this isn't something that you haven't grained in you or you've been practicing for years, all of it can be very overwhelming and I tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist, like if I'm going to do something, I want to do it well, and this is a whole new area for me. I don't know, and there really is no right or wrong, like we've said, but it's just so awesome to see how your guys' relationship has evolved and how comfortable Judy's gotten in her role and how well it has worked out.
11:23 - Steve (Guest)
And the more comfortable she got, the better she did, the better. It was a slow roll and then it kind of picked up speed and now it's very natural for us. Now it is not as awkward as it was. So when you ask what kind of relationship are, I always say we're in a mature FLR relationship. We've battled some of those mental issues, physical issues, and we've worked our way through them. They don't disappear. They need to be worked on, they need to be talked about and no one conversation was usually not enough to settle it. It could be a couple, it could take weeks or months or years. Domestic discipline took years to come about.
12:20
In a good way, in a good way, yeah.
12:22 - Krystine (Host)
In a good way. So, on that note, tell us what your domestic discipline looks like or what that is in your relationship.
12:31 - Steve (Guest)
Well, you missed it. It was last night. It was a day late.
12:35 - Judy (Guest)
It's usually Tuesday.
12:37 - Steve (Guest)
There are some things that you cannot count on happening all the time on a Tuesday.
12:46 - Krystine (Host)
I do like Tuesdays, yeah, do like Tuesdays, except this week.
12:51 - Judy (Guest)
So domestic discipline for us is not like just a beating session where people would think it's more of a keeping, it's a maintenance session. It's more just to keep things moving the way you want and this worked well this week. This did not a lot of times for me and now I'm keeping it on my phone because my memory is shot. But it would be like, yeah, there was something last week and then you got 10 extra. I can't exactly remember what it was. So last night I pulled up my phone and I'm like you said and I wrote, you know.
13:26 - Steve (Guest)
I did say this.
13:26 - Judy (Guest)
You said this, this and this and that earned you 10 more extra. So that's really helpful for me. And then I think it seems to be working and I just afterwards I'll say do you understand? And then, because he's gagged, he either has to shake his head, yes or no. So I know there was an extra explanation there, because the first it was no. I said, well, let me try this again, let me explain this, and then it was okay. So that was, that was very helpful, but it's it's kind of you know. So even when I start with what I get upset about things, I don't always give. There's a, there's 50 for maintenance is what we do, and then there's extra, and sometimes, if I'll get upset, I'll just get upset and later on he'll be like you know, you could adjust, but I still am not. I'm not in that punitive mindset and that's something I'm working on.
14:20 - Krystine (Host)
So when he does that, do you feel like he's tapping from the bottom or do you take it as just a suggestion?
14:27 - Judy (Guest)
It depends on my mind frame, frame of mind, mindset. So I try, and so sometimes I'll. I will get upset and say you're tapping from the bottom, but then I just kind of take a deep breath and be like, well, he's teaching me a better way to help him. Yes, that's how I try and look at it.
14:46 - Krystine (Host)
Gotcha.
14:48 - Steve (Guest)
Yeah, as you're aware, judy was very. She had a very difficult time with domestic discipline, because why would I hit someone that I love, that takes care of me, that all that stuff? And it wasn't until one conversation where I said, look, I'm not. We all can be better people, right?
15:08 - Intro VO (Announcement)
And.
15:08 - Steve (Guest)
I am not my best person unless I'm treating you and talking to you and being with you in the right way. So if you could take it away the idea that you're hitting someone that you love, you're using corporal punishment on someone you love, and think about it in a term that would say you know, this is so that you understand how to be a better person. I'm going to, I'm going to help teach you how to be a better person inside you know how to treat me better than that. Well, that's a good thing. That's not necessarily, you know. Corporal punishment is not necessarily bad just because it's corporal punishment, if the reasons behind it are appropriate.
15:51 - Judy (Guest)
And I've grown to find it very fun. Yes, what? Me too.
15:57 - Steve (Guest)
And the other thing I don't understand. We took the sexual component completely out of it. So domestic discipline is not anything. I'm not fully undressed. I usually leave my t-shirt on. It's not some sort of intro to a King Usain. As a matter of fact, to Judy Shagrin, I don't want to play on a night that we've had domestic discipline.
16:24 - Judy (Guest)
Which I still I get turned on. So it's like hmmmm.
16:29 - Steve (Guest)
Now there's a difference between play and you know doing what I'm supposed to do. You know performing, so to speak, and it's very ritualistic. We both have words that we say before we start and it's always done the same way. I try to make sure that it's always done the exact same way every time.
16:54
And there's a few moments, and then there's a after domestic discipline, there's a calming down time, because sometimes, I'll be honest with you, I'm not a big fan of domestic discipline all of a sudden, you know, be careful what you wish for. And sometimes after you know working really hard and making everything good and taking care of Judy in a really well way and I've got no extra swats coming to mind, the rations and I, you know, and then I'm still over the bench, you know I get up and I could be a little warm inside, not just on the back side, but inside, you know a little. So Will's, you know she spends, I spend a few minutes in the corner just like calming down right, and she cleans up and that's, you know, and that's, and that works out well, and then there's a thank you, ma'am, afterwards.
17:48
And then we completely move on, which is why fooling around after it can be so much more, much more of a stretch for me at that particular point in time.
17:59 - Krystine (Host)
Yeah, especially if you're a little heated at that particular moment. You probably don't want you. I mean, it's real hard to switch gears from you know being in that moment you're a little heated and now all of a sudden you're going to go straight into playtime. I don't, I couldn't switch gears like that.
18:16 - Steve (Guest)
Yeah, I have a half time. I mean, I understand why it turns to you on an early on. I said it really has gotten you twisted up a little bit, hasn't it? And she said, yes. I said, well, come on, we'll take care of that now, because in that, in that instance, that's, that's fine, I like to do that, but you know, if we it wants, she wanted to bind me up and, you know, do some other things. Yeah, I'm not really. I'm not really there right now mentally.
18:42 - Krystine (Host)
Yep, that makes sense.
18:44 - Bryan (Host)
I identify with the calming down part, the coming down after the. You know, for lack of a better term, people call it a scene or whatever. But in that moment coming down from that moment, there was a time over last winter where we had been doing essentially the maintenance thing and some other things and I actually, in the calm down, I started to tear up but I didn't feel sad. It wasn't like sadness or it wasn't anything, it was just an overwhelm of some, some sort of release. Release, yeah, it wasn't a. It wasn't a bad or good thing. That's probably more of a good thing than a bad thing. Anyways, that's probably the first time that that has happened to me in this whole walk and it was. It was really interesting. It was very introspective, like well, that's never happened before. What? What happened there? So I, I thought about it, talked about it quite a bit afterwards why you know why that would be so.
19:54 - Krystine (Host)
That just made me want to do it more.
19:56 - Bryan (Host)
Yep.
19:58 - Krystine (Host)
Okay. So my next question is when did the piercing come into play? And did you say you guys have been practicing Chastity since the beginning? When did that come into play?
20:12 - Steve (Guest)
Chastity came into first? Uh, we were. I was about 40 years old, so 20 years ago we got on an airplane to fly to California. I got a couple of articles off of the Alterboy website. Most of them were fiction. They were two fiction ones. I gave them the Judy to read very quietly on the airplane.
20:36 - Judy (Guest)
Long plane ride.
20:37 - Steve (Guest)
Long plane ride and, uh, and that started the conversation Uh, it took a year or two before we actually ordered a Chastity device and, just like, um, many of the other people be listening to this blog, uh, we went through thousands of dollars, uh, in the search of a comfortable, long-term wear Chastity device. At one particular time in 2008 or nine, we got a belt. Um, we had also been going to, uh, a convention in Rhode Island, uh, uh, like a King convention, and uh, we saw some things there.
21:26 - Judy (Guest)
We're supposed to say the belt. We went to someone's home.
21:30 - Steve (Guest)
Yeah, we went to New Hampshire and she actually fed him to her.
21:34 - Judy (Guest)
And it was a whole big deal.
21:36 - Steve (Guest)
And it was thousands of dollars that belt off and, uh, it didn't work very well. So